I'm just going to say sorry in advance. Sorry for...well I guess just saying this at all because I feel I have no right to.
I'm not sure why I can't get over you. I have days, sometimes weeks, where I think I've done it, and then I see you and all the work I think I've done crumbles, like it was a facade. I feel deeply about you, about the connection we had. I feel...devastated every time I see you knowing we haven't spoken in weeks, knowing I have no idea what's going on in your life. I understand that that is part of the nature of us now, I just didn't understand how much it would make me cry. Or maybe I did. I'm not sure.
I don't know what I'm trying to do here besides just express how I feel. I'm not trying to accomplish anything with this, so it seems almost pointless to write at all, but I need to say it, for one reason or another. But I feel selfish for saying it at all because I know the decision you made and I know the last thing you want is to hear this. That's why I feel I have no right to say it.
I'm not making sense.
I just - I am devastated when I have to see you because I understand all I ever get to do is see from afar. I'm - I'm sorry we weren't at the same place at the same time. I would have loved to be together for a while.
I just feel sorry. I'm sorry.
But please don't ever doubt that your presence, no matter the limited time anyone gets with it, is minuscule. Do not doubt the hole your presence leaves in those you say goodbye to.
