Now I'm just mad at you. I thought what I wanted was to be with you, but after everything, I just want an apology. An apology for hurting me through your inaction, your ignoring, and your unwavering choice to show me that other people are more important to you than I ever was and ever will be.
Everyday you chose not to be in my life. You chose not to text me, not to talk to me, not to acknowledge my presence except through your consistent viewing of my story. You chose not to acknowledge my existence, and our past. And yet, you not only validate your ex's presence, you give her your time and energy? Why can't you do the same for me? Why is she worth keeping as a friend and colleague, but I'm not?
You are making active choices to hurt me, and today was like a kick to the face.
You didn't even wait 48 hours after I made my announcement to post that you have done the same thing I did? You copied my idea, and didn't even pretend like you didn't. And I learn that your ex worked with you on this? You can't disguise this as anything but an active choice to put us in competition with one another.
But I am not your competition. You forfeited the right to be my completion the day you left me. The day you decided to ignore me in class. The day you decided you would wait a week before responding to my texts. The day you decided I wasn't worth your time. The day you broke up with me after I confronted you for your neglectful behavior. Everyone of those days and many more were moments when you gave up the right to be in competition with me. We are not on the same playing field anymore. You can not even compare to me.
I have never made a conscious choice to hurt you, yet you have. More than once. And today, today you chose not just to hurt me, but to annihilate me. One of your favorite films, an irony that does not go unnoticed.
I'm mad at you, and deeply hurt. I deserve an apology. Because I don't deserve this disrespectful treatment and you know it.
