Desire - Jan Peteh

Explanation

It's the next day. I slept through the evening and the entire night. I have no idea how I could possibly have been so tired but I feel very refreshed now, at least.

I'm not wasting any time today. The day after tomorrow is my first day of work, which means I won't be home as much as I am right now. So everything that I want to do needs to be done in the coming two days.

And that includes getting through to Jan.

He probably wants to make me believe he's just some sarcastic, complex, emo boy but I know better than that. I've seen a lot of guys put up acts like this, and there's always more to the story.

I get ready and then make my way over to his place.

I knock on the door a couple times. Nothing. A couple times more.

To my surprise, the door opens and reveals Jan in an outfit that's clearly his pyjamas. He rubs his eyes and when he finally notices that it's me, he just stares. A blank, but surprised expression on his face.

"Hi," he says.

"Hey,"

He steps out of the way to make it clear to me that I can come in. I step inside.

I choose to try this the nice way first. "Did you guys have fun last night?" I ask. He looks at me for a while before answering. "Yes," he sits down on the couch, groaning. I don't even want to know how many beers he had in total last night.

"Listen, Lilah, whatever way I acted last night, I need to say I'm sorry," he begins.

"You don't remember?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"I remember we had a little argument and how irritable I was. I just... I want to know the real you. You were telling us all this stuff about your life and I just thought wow, I've been trying to talk to this girl for so long and now all of a sudden she has so much to say," he sighs.

"I was just really confused. I honestly thought you hated me, the way you've been avoiding me these last few weeks. I kind of figured.. it can't just be about the stupid guitar. It must be something else,"

I'm taken aback by his explanation. I know I can act mean and annoying, especially around men. But it's mostly to defend my own feelings. I honestly didn't think it would affect anyone. I feel bad for acting the way I did. It seems like he really just wanted a friendly conversation all these weeks.

"Look, I'm sorry Jan. I should be the one apologising. These last few weeks have just been rough for me and you just always caught me in a bad mood. And I haven't been avoiding you, I promise,"

He chuckles. "It seems like.. we don't really know each other at all,"

"Would you still like to get to know me?" I say this as my cheeks flush red.

"I think I would, yes,"

"If you got dressed, maybe we could go somewhere and actually have a proper conversation?" I say, looking him up and down.

He grins. "That sounds like a wonderful idea,"

Not even 5 minutes later he arrives back in the living room, looking more than presentable. How does he do this?

"That was fast," I say, surprised.

"Yeah, well, when you get out of bed as late as I do you kind of learn to get ready in a hurry," he opens the door for me.

We walk down the stairs in silence, still unsure what to say.

"What do you want to know?" I ask him once we step outside.