Atelophobia (TW soulmate AU)

Chapter 27: A Change of Heart part 1

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual assault, death/assisted suicide

*Derek*

~Flashback~

"Hey. Hey, I'm okay." 

I looked down through teary eyes at the girl in my arms. Her brunette hair no longer full of curls, rather it's knotted and matted to her head and neck with sweat and blood. 

Black blood. 

It's starring me in the face with her warm skin turning a sickly pale. I can hear my own heartbeat pace fast in my ears. I'm not surprised she can hear it too. 

"No. This isn't right. I thought...." 

"I thought so too, Derek. But things *cough* happen for a reason. Maybe this way... I don't have to live with... an... awful mate. One... who..."

"Save your breath."

She smiled at me. A sad one as the light in her eyes continued to dim. 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." 

Paige then whispered in a small pained voice, "Please, Der."

I have been taking her pain but it wasn't helping much. All I was doing was taking the edge off it seemed. So pulling her closer to my chest I shut my eyes and squeezed. Flinching at the sound of her bones cracking/breaking. 

I screamed. I cried. 

I lost a love. She might not have been my mate, but she was important to me. 

~end of flashback~

I sat up with a start, running my hands over my face. 

Paige. 

She turned my eyes from gold to blue. A blue that Jordan swears up and down is his favorite color. 

"Der?" 

A small flinch. 

Fuck, I woke him up. I know he has work tonight and he worked the late shift last night. I didn't....

"Derek?"

I looked over at him. 

"Sorry." My voice cracked. 

Damn it

Jordan quickly and efficiently sat up pulling me towards him. His arms around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder. My back to his chest. 

"What did you dream about?" 

"Paige." I whispered. 

He was quiet for a moment. Trying to focus with his sleepy mind. 

"Why? You haven't had a dream that's made you feel like this  since we met."

Which is true. During the midst of the Nogitsune events I met Jordan. Our dogs essentially ( my wolf and his hound) were running the show the moment our skin brushed together and we ended up consummating the bond. Completing it with the bite and all. Since then the bond cemented and I wasn't plagued with the past hardships and nightmares. 

"Stiles asked about Kate. Specifically what she did to me."

"Why?"

 I shrugged. Honestly I zoned out and shut down the minute Stiles asked, not listening to an explanation if he gave one.

"And since Kate happened after Paige..." 

"Memories of her popped up." I sighed. 

What could Stiles possibly want?