Atelophobia (TW soulmate AU)

Chapter 2: You know.....

*Lydia*

I left Aiden in bed and traveled downstairs to the kitchen grabbing some water when I noticed Stiles sitting on the back porch of Scott's house. We all tend to crash her from time to time. I constantly find Stiles outside. Like he believes he's an outcast and not practically Scott's brother. But Schott's being dumb and keeps his head so far up Allison's ass not realizing that he's hurting Stiles more. And who cares about the Nogitsune anymore? It attempted to kill Aiden, but I knew it wasn't Stiles. Sighing I take my water and walk out the back door joining Stiles on the porch. 

"What's going on in that head of yours?" 

"Too much." 

"How do you normally calm it?" 

"Adderall."

"Which you don't take anymore." 

"I don't like the feeling of being suffocated." 

I nodded in understanding. 

"Anything I can help with?" 

"Probably not. " 

"Try me." 

"How do I get everyone to understand that I didn't mean to hurt anyone. That I'm human. That the Nogitsune wasn't my fault?"

" I know it wasn't you." 

"Yeah, but you're the only one. Scott doesn't, he sees me as a murderer and that I'm out to kill Allison."

"Scott's a dumbass." 

"But it's not just him. Aiden hates me, Malila and Kira push me away without knowing me truly. Boyd and Erica take every chance they get to physically punish me. Whenever we see Derek he just looks at me like I'm a monster. My dad pushes me further away every day. Melissa can't look at me anymore. The woman who stepped up and acted like my own mother, can't look at me anymore. Hell Lydia, you're the only one who even talks to me anymore. If it wasn't  for you, I wouldn't know when you all hang out as a pack." 

"But Stiles you are pack." 

"Sure as hell doesn't feel like it." 

"I can talk to everyone about it. Convince them." 
"They won't listen to you, Lyds." 

"You don't know that. " 

" I have a pretty damn good idea. They ignore anything involving me, including conversations." 

We sat there in silence. I could practically feel Stiles's anxiety and fear of losing everyone. 

"You know, " I started causing him to look at me, "You could talk it out with your soulmate. They don't know you, but I bet they could give you a different perspective." 

"Absolutely not." 

"Stiles, just try." 

"NO! I can't put them through the pain of even the thought of losing me. Especially with us going against the supernatural every day of our fucking lives. Then what if they have not idea about the supernatural, I'd hate to be the person to drag them into this mess." 

I placed my hands on his shoulders and forced him to look at me. 
"Give them a hypothetical." He shook his head no. 

"Just try Stiles. Did you ever think that maybe you are causing them pain by know letting them know about you?" 

"Not really, they've never written to me so maybe it's fine." 

"Stiles, they could be older than you and gave up writing." He just looked at me. I sighed, I'm not getting anywhere. 

"Stop resisting, Stiles. " I sighed getting up. 

"Not everyone reacts the same. Not everyone is going to be like your dad." and headed inside to go back to sleep. I refuse to fight with him. 

*Stiles*

I rubbed my hand down my face sighing. She's right, Lydia is always right. I reached into my pocket pulling out the sharpie I keep there. I've never spoken to my soulmate, but I keep a pen on me knowing that I can. I moved to lean my back against the house and pull up my sleeve looking at my blank skin. What do I even say? 

'I know I've never talked to you before and I'm sorry if it's caused you pain. That's why I never talked to you in the first place, I didn't want you to go through an immense amount of pain if you lost me to death. Again I apologize. I was just scared I guess. I don't know. But, I was wondering if you could give me some advice (I watched as the words disappeared as I got done with each sentence). Hypothetically, what would you think if your best friend got possessed by an evil fox spirit and had no control over their body or mind for that matter. Began to terrorize you and your friends leading to attempting to kill your soulmate. You still save them, but you refuse to be their friend anymore. You consider them a murderer, one out to kill your soulmate. How do you react to that? How does this friend convince the other that they have not ill intent toward them, their friends, or their mate?'

Sighing I watched the last of the message disappear and pulled my sleeve back down. I slowly get up and walk to the front hopping in Roscoe and headed home.