cascade | kotlc

11. Girls Like Girls

--- Linh POV ---

Linh liked girls.

Frankly, she didn't know what was inherently wrong with liking girls. They were all elves, after all. What was the issue?

But this wasn't the time.

She sighed.

The gentle trickling of the waterfall flooded her mind, filling it with gurgling as she rubbed her temples, slightly annoyed by her brief headache. She'd come to learn water was extremely volatile. Calm at times, violent in others, and too often water shifted.

Linh didn't learn to master how water changed. She'd learned to force water into what she wanted it to be, but it just so often resisted her. The water would scream in her mind.

Let me go. Let me do what I do best.

She couldn't. If she did, the water would destroy everything. Flood down, break through, seep everywhere and bring with it its destruction.

Her ability felt like a curse, even. She couldn't be near any water sources without panicking. She was scared of the water.

Was she really, though? Would she be scared of the water, if her parents had never brought her to Atlantis that one time? If she'd received proper, Foxfire-style training and learned to control her power?

Her migraine was flaring again. She groaned, snapping her fingers and pressing a water cold compress to her forehead. It didn't really help.

Her mind wandered to her conversation with June a week ago.

You are flawless. Promise to always believe in yourself?

"I'm sorry," she whispered, almost by accident, as she traced her finger through the thin waterfall, letting the moisture curl around. "I can't. I'm too dangerous to have around."

June didn't know she liked girls. She didn't know how much different she was from everyone's expectations.

Would she really have said that, even if she knew Linh liked girls?

Yes, she wanted to say. Yes, of course she would. Why would she not?

Tam had accepted her, after she'd come clean. She'd earned herself a lecture on 'trust you fucking goddamn brother with this, fuck damn it', but again he was her brother. He'd always accept her.

Would others?

Would June, if she knew...

I have a crush on her?

"It's not fair to her," she muttered again, crooking her finger and taking in the gentle coolness of the stream. "It's not her fault she's straight. It's mine."

The waterfall spiraled around her finger, extending over to her wrist and hand, coiling like a wire as the water pressed against her skin, diffusing as she clutched her forehead, tumbling backwards in pain as another migraine blasted her brain. Everything felt too loud.

Why...? Why am I afraid?

"You'll ruin everything," Linh echoed quietly, to no one in particular. "You'll ruin everything, Linh, and it'll all be your fault."

When was that? Who was it?

She remembered, faintly, somewhere in the back of her mind. The people she thought she'd loved most, betraying her, sending her off.

Mom? Dad?

You're not our daughter. We don't know you.

...