cascade | kotlc

33. The Goodbye Having Been Said

- J. R.

One day, and it is Fitz's planting.

She hears that everyone has come, the young, the old, the sickly, even the Ancients had made a point to visit. She hears that families filled the Wanderling Woods, taking up every inch of freshly turned dirt, and she hears that the weeping could be heard from miles away.

She hears that the entire Council was present, grieving in their specifically tailored black robes. She hears that the entire Vacker line has arrived from around the world, to grieve their descendent. She hears that even the Black Swan was allowed to present themselves in their quippy disguises, and that Mr. Forkle watered his seed.

She hears that Biana has been in pieces the last few days, and that Keefe and Sophie were wasting away in their room, the door firmly deadbolted. She hears that Tam and Linh and Marella have settled into shock, and that Dex has given up on his gadgets. She hears that Alden and Della haven't left the Wanderling Woods since, and that Edaline and Grady are with them.

She hears her tear splash on her palm, because there were only two people that did not go.

One of them is Faye. She has heard nothing from Faye, but everything too, hears her scream at the walls in her rage, hears her lightning ricochet off the crystal, hears her chant her self-hatred and her depression and her deprecation. Subconsciously, one edge of her lips itches up. Good. She wanted Faye to suffer for what she'd done.

The other one is herself.

She cannot bear the fact, know that as she buries the seed with his DNA that he truly is dead. His spirit continues to roam, but in form, he is gone. Even his body could not be recovered, despite the Council's best efforts.

She cannot bear wishing him goodbye, seeing him go, knowing all the people were muttering behind her, whispering words of pity. If she was there she would've turned and fled in a trail of her own tears.

She cannot bear that he is dead. She wishes he was still alive.

One day, and June is still in shock.

-

Two days, and she hears that Fitz's tree has grown.

It is spectacular, she hears, a magnificent sequoia with towering branches and bristling needles and teal-colored fruits, like the shade of the dusk sea. It always provides a mass of shade, a canopy of darkness, and it always sways and rustles in the wind.

It makes her want to scream.

A breath of fire gathers at the pit of her lungs, in her alveoli, and there is so much rage simmering inside her and waiting to burst. How dare they, plant his seed, actively confirm to her that he is dead?

He cannot be dead, he is still alive in me, I will remember him and love him-

In the room next to her, Faye bangs on the floor, screaming her profanities in tandem with her sobs, and June erupts.

The wind spirals uncontrollably around her, forming a deadly tornado with its sickle-sharp gales that seemed to cut her up into shreds. All the furniture picks up, hovers momentarily, before being dashed against the walls and floor and reduced to smithereens.

A tear trickles down her eye, falls onto her lap, and is swept away by the vortex, until it is nothing but a silver-blue blur in the midst of the distorted air.

Her gun seems to glow in the whirlwind as it makes laps around her, and wordlessly she holds out her hand. The barrel is cold as it obediently flings back to her, and she wraps her fist around the handle.