The Captain's Only Sea (Cavanaugh #4)

Kabanata 21

Kabanata 21

Pinned

Paano kaya kung landiin ko na lang 'yong kapitan? Nang makuha ko ang loob niya at magkasundo kami? Syempre dapat pribado at walang makakaalam.

Mahirap siyang iwasan. Lalo na at may problema kaming dalawa. Baka kapag iwasan ko siya ay tuluyan niya na nga'ng sabihin kay Dad at kausapin si Mr. Acuaverde na ipasisante ako.

Tanggal angas ko sa mga pinag-iisip ko ngayon. Nakakawala ng kaastigan ang lumandi. Puwede ba iyon? Lumandi sa maangas na paraan?

Nothing was wrong with Daumier. It was me. The fault was me. If only I could focus and concentrate. I should not have let the feelings and emotions bother me. Affecting my precious job.

I could not focus because? Because of him? In what way particularly?

Of holding back? Confusion? It's been almost a month on board. I have not figured out what this was all about. Ang hirap naman kasing paniwalaan. Iniisip ko na baka ay gusto niya lang makipag-ayos at kaibigan ulit.

Pero hindi naman ako manhid. He was making an effort in checking on me every time he's taking his break. In his rest hours? He usually comes here.

How did he do that? Managed that? Handle that? Without his duties getting affected?

I was currently sitting on the side of the bed, unhooked my bra and removing it even with my oversized tee shirt on.

Nalipat lamang ang tingin ko mula sa mesa kung nasaan nakalapag ang isang malaking mapa ng mundo hanggang sa nakasaradong pinto ng cabin nang narinig ang tatlong kalmado'ng pagkatok doon.

"Kaleidoscope? Puwede ba akong pumasok?"

I stood up, bringing my bra and tossed it to the laundry basket. "Bakit? Nakapagdesisyon ka na ba? Kung wala pa, hindi ka puwede'ng pumasok."

Humarap ako sa salamin na nakadikit sa aparador dito at inayos ang pagkakatali ng maiksi at maitim na buhok. Wala namang pinagbago, may iilang hibla pa rin ang kumakawala.

Kung titignan ay hindi naman halata na wala akong suot na bra dahil sa luwang at laki ng damit ko. In addition to that, my nipples were so small that it did not leave a mark on the fabric.

"I want to talk about what happened the past years," he said from outside. "And I have already decided."

Wala pa'ng isang segundo ay napabaling ako ng tingin ulit sa nakasarang pinto.

"Noong panahon ba na sinigawan mo'ko? Na umalis ka ng Madridejos nang hindi inaayos ang problema natin, at hindi man lang nagparamdam kahit pakikiramay nang nawala si Papa?" sumbat ko, hindi mapigilan ang sarili.

Kalmado akong lumapit sa may pinto at pinagbuksan siya. Bumungad sa akin ang kaniyang postura na nakayuko at tila tinititigan ang kaniyang mamahaling sapatos. He was wearing his usual attire as the captain of the ship. I wondered how many pairs of uniforms he owned? Baka marami rin pero madalas siyang nagpapa-laundry dito?

He lifted his look and our eyes intensely glued on each other.

As I stepped back to give way, he advanced forward. Pero hindi siya tuluyang pumasok sa loob at nanatili lang dito sa may doorway ng cabin.

"I was frustrated at myself that day. Kaya nasigawan kita. I can't believe that I punch a girl since you've lied to me that you're a boy," he began, eyes were cold but in a sincere way. "No'ng una ay hindi ko na tinignan 'yong resulta ng saliva at fingerprint test kung saan makikita ko ang iilang impormasyon tungkol sa'yo. I left that job for the adults to review. Saka lang ako nanghingi ng copy no'n nang sinabi nilang babae ka. It was confirmed. It says that you're a female. Ms. Doretta fill that up herself according to their photocopy of your birth certificate."