The Jacket Snatcher

Chapter 52- Round Two

After glancing at my phone for the 100th time to see that Luke still hasn't called or texted, I notice the time. It's 6:30, dangerously close to show time. Putting on my best brave face, I stuff my phone into my pocket and head for the arena.

By the time I make it to the dressing room to grab my camera and back out to the stage, the boys are already waiting to go on. I make it into the wings just as Ashton walks out to his drum kit.

The other three boys notice my presence as I come to a sliding halt after running the whole way here. Mikey and Calum both wave and give me a thumbs-up, but Luke simply looks at me. His face is neither hostile nor welcoming. I'm not really sure what to do as we stare at each other, but then it's his turn to walk out.

He breaks eye contact, stuffs his earpiece into his ear, and rushes out onto the stage, and I am left with an empty feeling in my chest. Never before have Luke and I had an encounter like that one. We've had plenty of angry, fiery ones, but never one so completely devoid of emotion.

The realization honestly terrifies me. I have this terrible sense of foreboding hanging over me during the first song. Out in front of the crowd, I end up taking pictures almost exclusively of Luke, as if this is the last chance I will have to capture him on camera. I know that this feeling is unreasonable, but it's overpowering all the same.

It's partway through "Disconnected" that I notice something that makes my stomach tighten. As Luke finishes the first chorus, his eyes briefly flicker to me. His face seems troubled as he continues to play, almost as if his mind is somewhere completely different. Is he thinking about me?

He begins the second verse and his eyes flicker to me once more. They aren't blank anymore, but I can't quite tell what emotion they bear. Is he sad? Angry? Hurt? I feel like it could be any of those emotions after the fight we just had because, frankly, I'm still feeling all of them, too.

I can feel in the pit of my stomach that I overreacted and that this whole thing is probably my fault, but I can't shake the painful feeling of rejection that still stings whenever I look at him. And I know that I can't take back the words that made him leave.

He continues to sing the lyrics, and I can't stand the fact that he's not singing them to me, winking at me, smiling at me like he normally does during this song. All it takes is one more empty glance in my direction, and I know I'm about to crack.

I let my camera drop to my chest and quickly retreat from the front of the stage. I find my place in the safety of the wings and continue to do my job from there, out of Luke's direct stare. I can't keep my eyes from glancing over at him, though, so I notice when his head starts to swivel from side to side, scanning the crowd.

Is he looking for me?

The song ends just as he finally turns his head far enough to see me on the side of the stage. He holds my gaze for a moment, and then, without so much as a hint of a smile in his eyes, he turns away.

After their set ends, I'm not really sure what to do. I trail the boys back to the dressing room, and I can tell by the way that he's acting that I've hurt Luke with what I said about his past. But once we get inside, and he sits alone on the couch in silence, my apology sticks in my throat. I can't seem to bring myself to say the words because the truth is that I am still so angry and hurt myself.

I'm about to just turn around and leave, unable to bear the tension, but Ashton calls my name.

"Steph, will you come play cards with me? The boys are being sore losers."

I give him a tight-lipped smile, grateful for something to do, and join him in a game of Go Fish.

As we play, I occasionally glance over at Luke who looks utterly bored as he stares at the wall. He doesn't say much of anything to anyone, and eventually stands and leaves without any sort of explanation to me or his bandmates.