The Jacket Snatcher

Chapter 62- For A While We Pretended...

Security ushers us into the airport like all the times before, except, this time has one major difference. This time, I won't be on the same flight as the boys. My flight, which leaves in an hour, will take me back home to Los Angeles. Their flight, which leaves in two hours, will take them across the Atlantic to the European leg of their tour.

Once we make it through the security lines, Luke and I make eye contact and wordlessly follow each other off to a secluded part of the hallway. It's early in the morning, so the airport is still pretty empty. Somehow, the fans haven't gotten word that we're here, either, so we are able to feel relatively alone out in the open. I can feel the other boys congregated a few yards away, giving us some privacy.

I stare down at my feet, not sure what to say or do. Luke clears his throat, so I glance up at him. When our eyes meet, he gives me a soft smile.

"I'm going to miss you," he starts, taking a step forward and picking up my hand in his. He leans his forehead against mine, causing me to close my eyes with a sigh. "We can still talk every day."

I nod gently, effectively just rubbing our heads together. He chuckles.

"I want you to know something," he continues, pulling back slightly so that we can look at each other.

"What is it?" My heart pounds through a burst of adrenaline at his serious words.

"I need you to know that there's no one else," he says, driving the breath from my body in a gasp. "When I'm gone, you're going to be all I think about. For me, there's only you."

I stare into his eyes as he says these words. I blink several times, wondering if they're even real. When he's still standing before me with a meaningful look on his face, I let myself believe them.

"I've always been yours," I say in response.

With a grin spreading across his mouth, he takes my face in his hands and connects our lips. I can feel him continue to smile through the kiss. It's sweet, but tastes like salt as my tears run down into our mouths. Eventually, our kiss transforms into a simple embrace as his arms wrap securely across my back and pull me into his chest.

I'm not sure how long we stand there, but the sound of a throat clearing behind us causes us to finally separate. Luke kisses my hand one more time before leading me over to his bandmates. I hug each of them, exchanging a brief "we'll keep in touch" or "don't forget to drink lots of water before you go onstage."

Regrettably, I notice my watch and realize that it's almost time for my flight to board and I still have to go to the other terminal. With one last hug and quick kiss with Luke, I swing my backpack on and head for Terminal D.

__________________________________________

The month of November passes in a whirlwind of middle-of-the-night phone calls and waiting for text messages. Brett and Rachel do their best to engage with me, but my brain always seems to be somewhere else. On a different continent to be exact.

One night, when the pain of missing Luke is particularly sharp, I find myself searching through twitter and browsing through posts about the band. I find shots of them performing in massive arenas which bring a proud, if a little sad, smile to my face. Then I stumble across meet-and-greet photos and laugh at the crazy poses the boys take for each picture. I would be lying if I didn't say that my heart hurts to look at them because I'm jealous.

I'm not jealous because I think that one of those girls is taking my place; I'm jealous because I wish I was standing face-to-face with Luke or smiling with his arm around me.

After slapping my laptop closed, I throw myself back onto my bed and stare at my ceiling fan as it makes a lethargic circle on the lowest setting. My heart aches, which I was expecting, but I was also expecting to find solace in the fact that Luke and I expressed our mutual exclusivity. However, it's this confirmation of our real feelings for one another that makes our separation even harder.