Reuniting Our Lives

Needing Time

That was it. Finnick was alive, and miraculously. It was a huge weigh lifted off my shoulder that I wasn't responsible for his death. Suddenly I felt angered at him for keeping it quiet all this time. I had felt so much remorse after I had to throw the Holo down to blow up the lizard mutts that tried to kill us. I felt awful because the mutts tried to kill us and I killed them and I presumed Finnick as well, but I didn't kill Peeta who also tried to kill me numerous times. The many months that I was in Twelve before Peeta came back from the Capitol, I had to ask myself why I did that. And until now, I would cry over killing Finnick and my sister. If there was no rebellion, she wouldn't have been there and she wouldn't have been hit by the bombs.

I felt an arm wrap around my waist and I realised that tears were threatening to spill and my breathing was heavy and jagged.

My name is Katniss Everdeen.

I was in the Hunger Games.

Twice.

Peeta and I went in the first time and survived.

He volunteered in the Quell for Haymitch.

He was captured by the Capitol.

I was rescued by the rebels.

I started a rebellion.

My sister, Finnick, and Boggs were killed.

Finnick is alive.

I'm engaged to Peeta Mellark.

I love him.

Always.

Finally, I started to calm down, and I raised my head up to see Finnick and Annie looking at me with pity. I didn't want their pity. I just want to have some time alone to process this and figure out what is happening right now. As if knowing this, Finnick and Annie leave and go to a neighbouring Victor's Village house.

I'm so overwhelmed by everything that's happened that even seeing Peeta is making me question everything that's happened these past few years. He was in love with me, and when he was forced to hate me, I came to realise that I loved him in return. The pain of seeing him tortured and starved, and how he had lost his love for me that had reigned for over a decade broke my heart, and without my sister, I would've completely fallen apart. Seeing him now, with love in his eyes makes me question how everything in my life is even possible. I have to get away to something familiar; to something that hasn't been touched by war, depression, or hugely bad memories which has become nearly impossible when I went through an entire life that was merely a dream where even the forest has a dark taint about it. Even still, I walk away from the table and out of Peeta's arms to put on my boots and hunting jacket to go to the Meadow. I'm still not completely ready to go hunting again after all of the people I've been responsible for killing.

Surprisingly, Peeta let's me go without a word, and when I turn back to look at him, there's a sad look in his eyes, but also a look of understanding. He nods his head and I turn back to the door.

"I'll be back soon, Peeta. Don't wait up for me. If I'm not back in three days, come find me," I say. Three days should be long enough with my thoughts and to figure out everything that's happened. And with that, I walk out the door and head to the Meadow with nothing but my father's hunting jacket and my racing thoughts.

A/N: Well, that was short. I'll get going on this story now that I'M A GRADUATED HUMAN BEING! WOO!

Kay, bye.

~Rachel