GAP 3: FOREVER STARTS NOW

CHAPTER 18 : DAY 1

Today is our real first day in our new home, and let me tell you, I still am lost in thought most of the time, asking myself if this was real

I have been with Sam for years, and yes, Sam had some nasty spending habits, and she has a different perspective on money.
Not that I could blame her, she had never lived a life of lack and was showered with abundance all her life.

Having a twisted view of wealth is to be expected.

she unavoidably flaunts it sometimes.
At times, unknowingly and at other times, by choice

I mean, have I told u the time when we braved through the summer heat with the car hood open?
Yeah, Sam insisted on showing off her new baby
I swear if I didn't love her so much, I would have seriously murdered her then.
I had to wrack my brains for any acceptable reason for Sam to close the hood so we both wouldn't get a heatstroke!

So yeah, it has been years since ive become Sam's silent plus one, but it still never synced in how truly bad things could get If she stopped considering me freaking out about her "habits" and just let loose on spending money like air.

Her grandma said that this house had 2 purposes

1. So Sam wouldn't get bored whilst she's recuperating
2. So I could get used to their family's wealth

Whatever she meant exactly by that, I couldn't still quite comprehend, but I am assuming she's trying to convert me into being a prodigal, right?
It's either that or she's saying Mon, I want u to get used to flaunting money and unnecessary luxury so u don't freak out every 2 seconds

I talked to Sam about it, and we debated on it for a long time before finally giving in.

Sam wasn't exactly hesitant in the first place.
It was just that I was throwing a bit of a tantrum since I didn't want to owe her grandma anymore than I already have, plus I didn't really feel comfortable in such a big house.
Sam said she would go with whatever I have decided, she said she would be happy to be anywhere as long as she was with me, but "slipped" that since this was intended as a gift, it would have been rude to decline it.

I didn't really agree with that statement, but I realized that Sam may have been controlling her nature all this time because of me.

This was what she was used to
This was Sam's life, and this will be my life, too, since I decided to be with her for the rest of my life
I had to make more of an effort to understand their lifestyle
I just couldn't keep asking her to do more sacrifices for me and my comfort. That would be selfish!

Me and Sam had made a promised that we would try harder to mold ourselves together rather than restrain each other, so this was a part of the steps we needed to take.

Looking at the extreme luxury around me, though, did nothing but make me frown

This house was amazing, but it was absolutely unnecessary
For me, it was nothing but a waste of money.

Sam and I's first home was relatively a lot more modest than this
It was huge for just 2 people and was equipped with all the high-tech toys that Sam loved.
I was most at ease at that house
It was the perfect size.
2 bedroom, 2 storey modern "starter home" as she loved to call it
It's sad to hear that she sold it
There were a ton of memories in that house and knowing we can't go back to the old us, to our old memories, and to our old house, made living in this massive block of marble even more depressing

I understood why she had to sell it
Our home carried a lot of memories, but it carried a ton of trauma too

What I did to Sam still haunts me and I'm sure she's suffering too, so going back to our first home wouldn't have done us both any good