vent :)

You

I long to see your face.

Whenever I'm out, I'm eternally hoping to find you.

Yet you're never there.

Where are you?

My keyboard knows your name far too well

There's a poster of your face plastered on the side of my brain

Yet I know that it's all pointless in the end.

You'll be gone, just like the rest.

I'll get over you.

I know next year we'll lose touch.

Hell I never had your contact info to begin with.

I'll find someone new; get too close, regrettably crush on them, and the cycle will continue.

We both know I wasn't made for this.

Or perhaps you don't;. As it seems as any effort put to entertain you is wasted.

All my efforts to lose to a phone; it has your attention hooked more than I ever could for you.

I blush and shake when I can maintain your attention for longer than a few seconds; my heart accelerates at the thought of entertaining you.

You.

I'm not sure why the thought is so addicting.

That you're listening to me.

Your jokes aren't that funny but I laugh anyways.

Your voice is almost angelic to me.

Even as it fades from my memory I can feel the deep undertones of it seeping into my brain.

Your voice is beautiful.

All those times we sat at that table alone, singing stupid songs.

'do you wanna build a meth lab~

A rolling RV meth lab~

Just one timeeeee~'

I think too much of what you'll think of me.

I hold back questions I want to ask you.

I don't talk unless I think you'll like what I have to say.

I hold my breath around you.

My personality-or barren wasteland of one- is within my own death grip when you're around.

I'm scared if I show you who I really am, you'll reject me.

You won't like me.

You'll stop caring.

But truth is, Ethan, I love you.

Maybe it's a bit obsessive

A bit unhealthy

Or perhaps some stupid mutation of hormones all bunching together that I  mistake to be love.

But I remember when he was here.

I didn't like you much then.

You stole his attention away from me.

I wanted him for myself.

But as he drifted away

Farther and farther

And I griefed more over my actions

I noticed the person who sat Infront of me

For who he is.