I was having fun forgetting I was trans until I was alone for too long and had a dysphoric breakdown about how my body will never be male ;)
and even the mention of it fucks with my mind at this point. I hate living so much. I hate having to tell people that I'm 'afab' or that stupid shit. I hate being trans. I really wish I was a cis guy. But I'm fucking not. WHY AM I NOT? WHY WHY WHY WHY THE FUCK WHY WAS I BORN THIS WAY WHY WAS I MADE TO SUFFER WHY ME WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS FUCKING HELL I'M FUCKING SORRY OKAY I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID JUST PLEASE PLEASE MAKE ME MALE PLEASE TAKE AWAY THE DYSPHORIA I HATE IT I HATE LIVING SO MUCH PLEASE PLEASE JUST FCUKING KILL ME I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY I WANNA FEEL GOOD ABOUT MY BODY AND NOT CONSTANTLY WISHING I WAS FUCKING DEAD AND NO MATYER HOW MUCH I WORK OUT IT'LL NEVER BE AS FAST OR PRODUCTIVE AS A CIS MALE'S WORK OUT
YOU ARE READING
vent :)
Randomliterally just me venting about my life :D This can go from shower thoughts to suicidal thoughts very quickly. And the reverse. I mostly just type to myself, kinda like some online diary lol. Honestly I don't really update it that much @_@ mostly wh...
