hesitation || minsung

1: regret

Flashback

3rd person POV

"Hey baby!," she said. (For now lets call her Trashy C: cuz she is) 

"Hey." Jisung replied. They were in Jisung's house and Trashy made sure his parents weren't home. She was planning something terrible. While Jisung was already tired of her wanting to have sex. He still think she loves him for who he is, but he is having second thoughts and hesitating to end the relationship he has with her. They have no chemistry anyways and chemistry matters to him. Trashy was in the same class as him in high school and it's no surprise if I tell you she always wanted to get with guys like him. Any guy who has a good body, she doesn't care about their personality anyways, she will just try to get with them.

There is another reason he doesn't want to end the relationship. His mom thinks she is a good influence. Turns out, she don't know her that well. Even if she did, she wouldn't care, if Jisung was being honest. His mom thinks it will turn him straight. Before Jisung got with Trashy, he came out to his parents as gay. His dad didn't mind but it would get him a while to get used to it. His mom, however, freaked out. 

"I will not accept a gay son!" Jisung shrugged the memory away and kept talking with Trashy. 

"Why did you want to come over to my house?" Jisung asked, already having an idea of what she might say. 

Especially with my parents not home. She probably wants to do the same thing over and over. He thought. He wanted to get rid of the thought but he was almost sure it was correct, and that was what she wanted to do.

"Well...," Trashy paused as she got on top of him. No surprise, he was right. He just wanted to end it all right there, but his mom would probably kick him out. He is only 16 and this is already illegal, I don't know why she keeps wanting to do this. I guess she wants to get arrested if anybody finds out. He will have to end up lying about his age all because of her. Jisung was already grossed out and closed his eyes as he turned his head to look at anything but her. He really didn't want to do this. Again. 

"No, come on let's do something else. Please. You forced me to do this last week." He sighed, tired of her only using him for his body. This will probably make him more gay. Plus, she was always so loud... and not in a good way. 

"No! I promise this will be the last time this week." Trashy tried to convince him. Jisung knew if he declined she will tell his parents and his mom will get furious. He was trying to hold back tears wondering when it will end, he really wants it to. He's trying to stop himself from just raging out and throwing her off of him, but he knows that will have consequences. He wasn't that stupid.

"Okay, fine." Jisung said slowly, regretting every word. He couldn't do anything about this relationship whether he liked it or not. 

"For how many hours?" He asked her knowing she would probably make it into 5 or 6 hours but he will have to make an excuse for it to be turned down to only 2 hours.

"5." She said demandingly.

"We can't make it that long. My parents are coming home before that. My parents are coming home in 3 hours." He lied. He knows this might have consequences if she decides to call his parents and ask them herself. But at the same time, she probably might end up drinking and going home drunk then forgetting to make sure he wasn't lying, so he had a pretty good chance of getting away with that.

Trashy rolled her eyes and said annoyed, "Fine. 2." 

After

After they both put on their clothes it was 30 minutes after they ended it. Them having themselves cleaned up and Trashy getting ready to go home, or to drink.

"Bye." Jisung faked a weak smile, and Trashy being annoyed that it was so "short" that she couldn't even look at him or say anything and just left. But she wasn't annoyed while they were doing it. Jisung doesn't understand. He just doesn't understand. Why is she like this? Why is my mom forcing me?

why?

He stormed into the bathroom biting his lip to stop him from crying. Though, he knew he was going to cry eventually so he locked the door since he was probably going to be in there for a long time. He put his head against the wall and turned one hand into a fist while the other one was on his knees. He was on the floor and the hand he had turned into a fist kept smashing the floor over and over. 

i hate so much.

Eventually, he was left laying down on the floor, falling asleep while eventually his parents came home... eventually his dad was extremely worried and kept banging on the door...eventually Jisung would wake up...eventually...he would end the relationship.

AHAHAHAHSHAHHSHASHAHS im cringing :C i told u guys it was gonna b bad omgggggggg whyyyyy but i think i did good 4 my first chapter... i think....(u didnt lol)

but i hope u guys liked this first chapter !! ig. ahahhahahhahaahahahahha anyways ill see u guys in the next chapter mwa 

word count: 919