hesitation || minsung

11: let him go.

Jisung's POV

"I'm sorry." I apologized. I didn't have to just bear him with all of my problems. That was a dumb thing to do. I wonder what he felt when I did that.

"No, you shouldn't be apologizing. But, if you don't mind, do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Minho asked curiously. I want to tell him the truth, but I also don't want to. I don't know what he's going to think. I don't know if he will tell me that I'm overreacting. I don't know, and that's what is scaring me. 

"Nothing, just...a memory." I lied. I don't lie very well since I could never lie to my parents. Especially my dad. Sometimes I would keep secrets from my mom with my dad because she would freak out like always. My dad was the first one to know that I was gay. 

"Are you sure?" He asked again. He always cares about me. I don't want him to. I'm going to have to let him go soon, and so is he, no matter we like it or not. 

"Yes. Yes, I'm sure Minho. I'm going to change and make breakfast." I got up a bit quick since I couldn't stare or talk to him anymore. But I'm going to have to today. 

I also had to talk to the babysitter and tell her to stay for a few more hours and then I'll see Mina today.

after I made breakfast

"I made eight plates for everybody! Come eat guys!" I shouted from the top of my lungs to get everyone woken up if they weren't. Minho and Felix were the first ones to come down.

"Hi." I said with a half-hearted smile. Minho and Felix greeted me and smiled back. They chose their seats. There were six seats on the sides, and on the other sides there was one. Minho chose one of the one seats on either side. I decided the other one seat on the other side was going to be mine. 

Soon, everybody came down, but I ate at Minho's pace which is a little bit slower than mine. Everybody except Minho and me finished, said thank you, and went back to what they were doing. 

"I'll help you do the dishes." Minho offered. I know I can't argue with him, so I just let him help me. He looked like he was about to say something, but didn't have the courage to say it just yet.

"Look, um...I was thinking...how about we go on a date?" After he said that last word I couldn't help but let the tears form in my eyes. I couldn't cry again, so I bit my lip so I wouldn't cry. I practically froze with his question echoing in my head. I forced myself to snap out of it and talk to him about what I planned.

"Actually..." I turned to him.

"I need...some type of break, some space with this friendship." I tried to keep my voice steady, but it still broke a little bit. Minho had a hurt expression on his face. I could see some type of guilt form in his eyes and question too.

I had to do this.

Minho's POV

Why does he need a break? Did I do something wrong?

I wanted to ask him these questions really bad, but I had a feeling he didn't want to answer it. I just don't get it. He hasn't been telling me something, and that's okay, but I just want to help him. I want to help him really bad. Whatever he is going through, I will do anything to make him feel better. Anything.

"Um. Okay, that's fine. But...is there anything you want to talk to me about?" I tried to make what I said true, but I couldn't. It wasn't fine. It wasn't okay. 

"...No." Jisung said softly.

Let me help you. Please. 

Jisung smiled at me.

"Thank you Minho." 

We continued washing our friend's dishes until we finished all of them. I was trying to hold in my tears until I went to the shared room me and Jisung were staying at. 

"Hey, I'm going to the room." I said without looking at him. I didn't want him to see me.

"Okay." He replied. I ran up the stairs and to the room me and Jisung were staying in. I went in, locked the door and started to think. 

What could have happened to him? Why would somebody do such a thing to a person like Jisung? He doesn't deserve anything bad people did to him. He deserves love. I need to ask his closest friends about what happened to him. They would know...right? 

I slammed my head against the door and slowly sat down.

Maybe it is me.

few minutes later

Someone knocked on the door. 

"Minho? Can you open the door please?" Jisung asked from outside. I stood up and unlocked the door for him.

Jisung's POV

Minho unlocked the door. He looked like he was crying. He was rubbing his eyes and his cheeks and nose were red. I couldn't look at him. 

Just get the clothes, pack, and go to your house.

I sighed and packed without saying anything. Minho left the room and went downstairs. I covered my face and told myself that I'm stupid. But, this had to be done. I can't handle it anymore. I wanted to end the relationship with him, but I want to get in one with him where we are more than friends. I chose the other one. I don't know how long I'm going to ignore him for. I guess it's better if we just forget ourselves. 

I finished packing, said bye to my friends, then headed home. I made sure to tidy the room up a little bit and make the bed.

when I got home

I unlocked the door and Mina immediately came running to me. I was so happy to see her again.

"Papa? Papa!" Mina giggled as I picked her up. I showered her with small kisses and thanked the babysitter. I put Mina down to give her the money.

"Thank you so much. Bye!" I waved her goodbye and thanked her once again. I asked Mina about her day and what she did with the babysitter.

"We played with all of my dolls and she read me stories! It was so fun, and she was so nice!" Mina told me with a happy smile on her face. Her smile dropped a little bit.

"Where is Minho?" Mina asked me curiously. 

I started to tear up remembering Minho. I wanted to hug her.

"Come here." I crouched down and opened my arms. I hugged her so tightly and closed my eyes shut. I remembered me going to sleep with Minho. The way his arms would add comfort and warmth to my entire body. I missed it. I missed him already. 

"We have to let him go, Mina."

HI GUYS THATS CHAPTER 11 HAHA U GUYS R PROBABLY GOING 2 BE SO MAD @ ME...oh well<3 hehehehehehehehe!! BUT YK IM NOT 1 OF THOSE ARTISTS WHO LEAVE W A BAD ENDING AND OFC THERE IS GOING 2 B A GOOD ENDING YAEY!!! sorry 4 the short chapters hhahahha....

word count: 1186