Land of Villainous Doom

2: 21

SCARSDALE - PAST - DECEMBER 1966

A knight rode his horse on TV. Isaac tried to sell a new TV to a couple.

"I don't know," the man said. "Do we really need color?"

""Do we really need color?"" Isaac repeated. "Do we need to settle for what came before? Don't you want to really see the world? It's a complicated place, and people are complex creatures. Their interior lives are painted with many different hues and shades. And the Zenith Marseille color TV... It brings the profound complications of the universe right into your living room."

"Does it have a clicker?"

"What?"

"A clicker."

"You mean the space command remote?" the boss questioned. "Why, that's included in the price, sir."

"Now we're talking."

"Hey. Were you a ranger?"

Man: Damn right. 25th infantry division. You were in the service?

"You bet, 187th airborne, company "A." We heard a lot about your unit. You guys were real heroes. Tell you what... Why don't you take this out for a test drive, huh? See how it feels." He turned to Isaac. "What the hell are you doing, Isaac? Huh? Rambling on about weird technical crap? You're supposed to be selling."

"I was," Isaac replied.

"No. No. You were sending them across the street to Gimbels. Now, I hired you because you said you wanted to be a writer."

"I'm a writer."

"Stacks of rejected manuscripts in the break room don't count. But I figured you knew something about telling stories. That's how you sell. But now I get why you don't have a picture on the back of a book yet. You don't tell stories people want."

Isaac searched in the mail. "Maybe that's about to change."

---

Isaac entered Star Publishing's office and called, "Hello?"

"Over here," the Apprentice said.

"Oh. I-I'm Isaac Heller."

"Yes, I know who you are. Please... Take a seat."

Isaac sat. "Mm... I've never met a publisher before. I'm not sure exactly how this works. So, you want to publish a book. Is there a contract..."

"You may find that our organization does things a bit... Differently... Choose one." He gestured to the pens that had been laid out.

"Oh, actually, I'm more of an IBM Selectric kind of guy."

"Choose one."

"Okay. Okay. What is this? Some kind of signing bonus? The last time I got a fountain pen was for my bar mitzvah."

"This is a test. We need to know what kind of writer you really are. Choose the one that calls out to you."

Isaac took the quill and magic pulsed. "Uh... What the hell was that?"

"It is a sign... That you are to be our next Author. You see, the last one... Well... He just recently passed away."

"Author of what?"

"There is much to explain. How would you like to take a trip?"

"I-I-I'm not so great with traveling. I-I've never been further than Scarsdale."