SNEAKING AROUND: kenma

You come from another world

Earlier I said I'm easily influenced, and that still stands true.
When kenma noticed me crying, rather than ignore me he actually decided to come closer.

I was surprised at his sudden emotional understanding. He led me back to the car and opened the door for me, getting in next to me and asking me what was wrong.

It had taken a moment of silence before I decided to open my mouth. "Kenma... I understand if you don't want to- give me the wrong idea". I began.
He squinted and I thought maybe I was offending him.

"What do you mean"? He asked softly.
"I- saw you looking something up and... I know you're trying to find a way to let me down easy". I admitted.
It was so fucking embarrassing- I laid all my pride down here.

"Y/n... stop"- he spoke quietly.
I didn't expect him to say that, and it made me close my mouth.
"What are you talking about... seriously"? He whispered.

"I saw- what you looked up". I stated.
"Why were you watching me"? He asked.
Was he upset with me?
I couldn't handle that-

"I'm sorry..". I began.
"You think you can just make a scene based off of nothing but assumption... how does that make me look... like I broke your heart or something". He told me looking down. His tone was calm but those words dug deep.
I knew they were true.
And I knew his personality was- rough.
But I never expected this.

"Kenma"-

"Be for real y/n, you know I like you. And now you're making me say it to your face huh? You just wanna hear it". He gave up.
...

"Do you.... Like me"? I asked looking up into his eyes.

"Don't... pretend". He said opening the car door.

"Don't get out yet".. I asked of him.

"I don't know how to do this". He said getting out anyways and closing the door behind him.

What....
What happened?

I don't understand at all.
He said he likes me... but he was mad.
And then he said he didn't know how to do this.
What is this?

Before he could go any further I opened the door and spoke out like I wanted to.
"Kenma get back in the fucking car"- my tone came out more aggressive than I intended.

I saw him flinch and turn around surprised and confused.
"Damn-" he mumbled, walking back towards me shocked.

It didn't take much convincing for him to get back in with me.
"Kenma, I'm not making a scene. And I didn't know you liked me honestly. But now that I know- I'm not just gonna watch you walk away". I stated.

He looked down with sharp eyes and they gleamed just before he averted his gaze. His thoughts were displayed across his face, and his hair fell to hide them.

"You're making it hard... I'm not gonna express myself to you". Kenma told me with no hesitation.
It's like he wanted to be as honest as possible, because he thought I would reject him after seeing how displaced he was.
But his hesitation didn't scare me and it didn't turn me away. It pulled me closer. 

"I'm not gonna force anything from you- but I am gonna give you the things I want you to have". I spoke quietly. "What-"? Kenma asked in an even lower tone.
The tension was palpable and the air became still- enough to listen to my own heartbeat.

"I want you to have the reassurance... that I like you the way you are. And I don't wanna change you. I don't wanna bring you out your shell. I wanna come in there with you". I smiled.
It was a weird thing to say but it was true.
I liked the little dark shadow over him- the secrecy and the intimacy of being alone.
Shut away from the world.

"Let's keep sneaking around". I told him.

He couldn't help but let a smile onto his face, his hand tried to cover it.
His bottom lip was taken into his mouth a little, and there was a slight blush that spread.
Did he like what I said that much?

"You wanna sneak around- with me"? He asked, finally looking me in the eye and leaning back more relaxed.
His hands fell into his lap and he scoot forward a little, sliding down and slouching comfortably.

"Mhm" i confirmed, unsure of what to say next.
I just used all my confidence in that last breath.
...

The wind had me choked up, in a good way to say the least.
With all 4 windows down, kuroo went 105 on the empty highway.

Ki was in the passenger seat, lev was on the right side of the back. With me on the left side behind kuroo and kenma in the middle.

The only thing more distracting than the strong wind coming at me, was kenma sitting beside me. After that conversation I felt really tense. Like I couldn't wait to see what happened next.
My ears were hot, and I bit the inside of my cheek.
Pretending like I didn't care.

Easier said than done.

The music was blasting- the car was speeding and I had kenma with his hand between my thighs.