Haikyū!! X Male reader

(CONTENT WARNING) Ushijima Wakatoshi x Trans Male Reader

WARNING; Dysphoria, reader over-binds, a little internalized transphobia, sad boy hours
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He had been in bed all day; his ribs hurt and there was a hard, uncomfortable felling in his torso, like his organs were being squeezed out of his mouth like toothpaste. It was uncomfortable to breath, but anything is better than getting up, than looking in the mirror, than looking down, if even for a second. (Y/N) couldn't handle that. School had ended for the week only yesterday, and even than he couldn't take it off. He knew the consequences would catch up at some point, but who cares? He needed to feel flat. He needed to make sure it was flat. No bumps, no worry. Was it stupid? Only a little. It's just a body. Who cared about how it looked in the comforts of your own home? Or dorm, in this moment.
(Y/N) couldn't help it.
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Wakatoshi hasn't seen him all day, not in the cafeteria, not at practice, not even hearing anything from his phone. Satori caught his gaze, "Oh, loverboy! What's wrong?" He teased, head propped onto his hand as he sat beside Wakatoshi, lips ducked up. Wakatoshi hummed, phone in his left and water bottle in his right.
"It's nothing, (Y/N) just hasn't been answering me." Practice was almost over at this point. Satori took a sneak-peak at Wakatoshi's phone, seeing a simple 'Are you OK?' In his text messages.
"I'm sure (L/N) is fine, but why don't you check up on him after practice?" Wakatoshi hummed, already planning on it. At least Satori tried.
Practice went by; Wakatoshi was dressed in normal clothing and started to make his way to (Y/N)'s room. He knocked one, then twice, and on the third knock he sent a text. 'Are you on your room?' Wakatoshi saw his message was read, having a little debate whether he should just try the knob. He decided he would, knowing it was rude, but his boyfriend wasn't answering and Wakatoshi was worried. The door was, surprisingly, unlocked.
Inside, Wakatoshi saw (Y/N) cuddled into a blanket cocoon, back towards him. "(Y/N)?" He saw (Y/N) jump.
"Hey, 'Toshi," He didn't turn around; his voice was strained, as if crying for years, and he sniffled every once in awhile.
"You didn't answer my text, are you okay?" Wakatoshi sat at the side of the bed, shoulders hunched as he laid his elbows on his knees.
(Y/N) felt horrible. He was such a shitty boyfriend. As if.
Shut up.
No, you.
Fuck you.
Never.
He didn't even respond to his own fucking boyfriend. What a joke, (Y/N) thought. I bet he hates you.
I bet he isn't even into you.
I bet he isn't even gay.
"(Y/N)?" Wakatoshi was worried, (Y/N)'s lack of responses gave him creeping anxiety.
"... no." (Y/N) started shaking, fresh tears coming out and falling down into the soft mattress below him. He couldn't take it. The feeling of... everything was too much. It hurt. It all hurt. Why? Why did it have to happen to me? Why? "I hate," (Y/N)'s voice cracked as he sobbed, "everything!" Wakatoshi rubbed (Y/N)'s back; he had no idea what to do, but he tried his best to comfort his boyfriend. He listened to (Y/N) cry, "I don't like this body, I don't like this face, I don't like anything about this!" He sobbed. Anger, sadness, embarrassment, all clouding his mind.
Wakatoshi let him cry, a little awkward but trying his best. "I just... I just wished I was born like you! I wish I was born a real boy!" Wakatoshi never liked it when (Y/N) talked like that, letting the deep, internal thoughts of doubt into the light. It was never fair to him.
Wakatoshi laid beside him, wrapping his arms as best as he could around the sad cocoon, "(Y/N), you are a real boy. Why do you think I like you?"
"But-"
"No, (Y/N). Don't listen to whatever it if your mind tells you," Wakatoshi tightened his grip, holding (Y/N) closer, "I like you for who you are and you are a man, okay? You deserve to be happy and if being in a cocoon helps then so be it. I will be with you through it all. I know I'm not... good... at this, and that I don't completely understand how you feel, but I swear I will always be with you, (Y/N)."
(Y/N) sniffled again, slowly worming his way around until he was facing Wakatoshi, "Thanks, 'Toshi." He smiled, cuddling up into him.
"Now, how long have you been wearing your binder?" He was still concerned, not letting his guard down to make sure (Y/N) was comfortable.
"... Awhile," He answered, shamefully looking away, even though Wakatoshi couldn't see his face.
"We'll take it off, then I can go get some snacks, okay?" He smiled, although (Y/N) couldn't see.
"Okay..." He still felt terrible, but knowing Wakatoshi was with him made everything better.
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Request from tumblr