What's Said in Silence

Vessel-XVII

(C.W)

The sun washed over me through the cracks of the curtains. Daylight. The nightmare was over. The pain was gone, at least for now. I had known Sleep wouldn't like my distractions with Sera much, but I couldn't help myself. Like a fool, I had made it overly obvious and last night I finally had to pay the price for it. 

I had been wary about going to sleep in the first place, but my eyes had grown too heavy and I slipped into the dreamworld against my own accord. My only solace was that Sera had been there, letting me touch and kiss every inch of her sweet flesh. It was one of the few times I had felt in control of my dreams. Whatever I wanted to do, I could. I had let myself get carried away with the imagery of what she might look like on all fours without a skirt in the way, or what would shine in those eyes as they looked down on me, settled between her thighs. 

When Sleep had decided that enough was enough, she set my dreams ablaze. I was forced to watch my beautiful fantasy burn to ash before the flames had begun to lick my own skin. Burning flesh had invaded my senses, and as if that weren't enough, she added in a painful sensation of my insides being torn apart. The pain had been so real, so intense, and yet I couldn't wake myself from the horrific scene. No matter how loud I screamed or how much I apologized, she wouldn't relent. Now it was morning. All of the pain was gone, but her message wasn't. 

I'm the only one that consumes your dreams. Worship me. Only me. 

I had been so enraptured by this deity when she first came to me. She had made me feel desirable, powerful even. She promised me prosperity in magnitudes as well as love. All she asked in return was my loyalty and to collect more worshipers. I had done my best, but it was taking a while to get my music out far enough. This wasn't good enough for her, soon she started tormenting me, punishing me when I did anything she deemed unacceptable. Every time, I took the abuse and repented for my sins. Just like I had last night and would again. 

I pushed myself off the floor and stood up on unsteady feet. I stumbled into my bathroom and reached for my toothbrush, refusing to look in the mirror while I took care of basic hygiene. I brushed my teeth and then ran the shower. The water was almost unbearably cold, but I'd dealt with enough heat in the night, so I welcomed the chilling water.

Once out of the shower, I toweled off and dressed myself in one of my many cloaks and dark pants. I picked up my tube of black body paint and began applying it. Once I got to my chin I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the reflection. The eyes that screamed at me for help, the eyes that were scared of everything. Weak, pathetic eyes. 

"Shut up." I mumbled under my breath as I finished applying the paint. I grabbed my mask and fit it onto my face. Just like that, those scared eyes were gone. I was only Vessel. The Vessel for my deity. A token of worship. Sera was just a minuscule distraction. All I needed was a simple reminder of my purpose in life and that's exactly what Sleep gave me.

I opened my bedroom door and was greeted by the smell of bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen. My stomach rumbled with need as I made my way into the kitchen. Her back was turned to me as I rounded the corner and took my usual seat. The sway of her ponytail as she cooked caught my attention and I had to force the thought of running my fingers through the strands away. 

No more distractions, remember?

Easier said than done, but it would be done. She's nothing more than my housekeeper and I have already crossed too many boundaries. Actions done on my part that she'd handled with absolute grace. I had to admire the self-control she possessed.  In fact, that may have been our only saving grace thus far. 

She reached into the cabinet for two plates and piled the food onto them. Without seeming startled by my presence, she turned and gently placed a plate in front of me before retrieving a set of forks for us. It would seem that she's gotten used to my quiet entrances. I almost missed the way her eyes would widen and the little jolt her body would do, but that's not a pleasure I'd allow myself to indulge in anymore. 

She sat in the seat across from me like usual. Everything seemed so normal, so mundane. We both ate in our comfortable silence. Both of us seemed to be pretending last night didn't happen, but for completely different reasons.  Which was precisely what we should have done. 

Without looking up, I reached over for the salt that usually sat in the center, only to have my fingers graze against hers. We both jerked our hands back. Mere seconds of contact with her had my mind spiraling out of control and my body aching with need. I kept my head angled down at my plate but looked at her through my peripheral. Pink bloomed across her cheeks as she tucked a loose strand behind her ear with a shaky hand. For a few minutes neither one of us moved, as if silently waiting for the other to break the stillness. 

Without looking at me, she reached for the salt shaker again. Though, instead of seasoning her own plate, she placed the shaker in front of me. You first. She didn't need to say it, but her message was understood, nonetheless. I took the shaker and doused it onto my own plate before reaching across and setting it in front of her. Your turn. 

We finished our meal without any more accidental touches. I scribbled on my notepad while she cleaned the kitchen. Existing in the same space as her wasn't difficult, but keeping myself focused when she was around was. The proof was staring at me as I scratched through yet another failed attempt. 

I rolled my head in a circle to release some of the tension building in my neck but stopped abruptly when my eyes landed on the graceful sway of her hips as she swept the floor. I worked to stifle the growing need inside me. Sleep had already warned me, and she'd been merciful in her ways, I didn't need to provoke her any more than I already had. 

But damned if it wasn't difficult.

Of course, she would be wearing one of those damned skirts. The way the fabric grazed against the backs of her thighs had become the bane of my existence. I force my eyes back to the task at hand. I couldn't let myself get so distracted so easily.

Thoughts of last night wormed their way into my mind. How close she was, the way her lips grazed mine, the way her towel slipped down lower and lower... Focus! I mentally slapped myself, although I feared it wouldn't help much. 

She'll be displeased with your distracted state.

I knew that. It wasn't my intention. Although, resisting seemed to only be making the matter worse. Maybe I needed to give my body what it craved so it would finally settle back down. Just one taste. Seemingly against my own will, I stood and moved towards her in long strides. 

When I came to stand just mere millimeters behind her, she stopped sweeping and straightened her back. The back of her ponytail grazed against my chest. Slowly, she looked up until her eyes met mine. 

"You're very distracting." I told her flatly. She took this as her opportunity to move. She began to walk away until I grabbed her wrist, making her turn back to face me. Using my free hand, I grasped the broom and removed it from hers, reaching behind me and letting it fall to the ground. 

I stepped closer to her and she took a step backwards in turn. We repeated this dance until she backed herself into a wall, literally. Still holding her wrist in one hand, I placed my other hand against the wall beside her head. 

My little fox is trapped now. 

It was then I saw something in her eyes I hadn't seen before: Hunger. I leaned in closer and grazed my lips against hers, both to savor the moment and to tease her the same way she did me. It seemed to work because her breaths grew ragged. 

I let go of her wrist and grasped her hip instead with a firm hold, as if she might escape me without proper restraints. Something in the way her back arched told me that she didn't want to run from me this time. I slid my other hand onto the nape of her neck and gently tugged at the strands there. 

Just one taste is all I'm going to allow myself. Because of this, I have no intentions on making this sweet and gentle. I tightened my grip on her waist and pushed her further into the wall and tugged harder on her hair, earning a sharp gasp from her. I took that opportunity and closed the last bit of distance between us. 

If divinity has a flavor, it's her.