What's Said in Silence

Vessel-XXXXIX

"I'm sorry, sir, but there's nothing more that I can do." The young man behind the front desk gave an apologetic look to our PR manager, who was now beyond livid. It was mostly due to pure exhaustion, but the poor chap behind the counter was the one that would catch the heat from it anyway.

There had been a multitude of delays at the airport due to bad weather. It had finally decided to snow on the day we were supposed to be boarding a plane. After nearly an entire day spent waiting around at the airport combined with an almost 17 hour flight, it was nearly two in the morning and everyone was exhausted. The last thing we needed was a room mix up like this. 

"She can room with me." I finally said, breaking up the ensuing argument. Everyone turned to face me with a mixture of surprise and confusion on each of their faces. Sera flashed me a wary look.

What are you doing?

I gave her a small reassuring nod, microscopic to everyone else in the room but she understood it all the same. It was better than standing here arguing over the room situation any longer, regardless of what everyone else thought of it. Quite frankly, I was too fucking tired to give half of a rats ass. 

"We share a house," I shrugged, attempting to play it off as something more innocent than it sounded-or that it was. "It's no different." It was a lot different in their eyes, but what they didn't know is that this wouldn't be the first time Sera and I had shared a bed. 

Oh well, it had to come out sooner or later. 

Our PR manager seemed hesitant at first, but his own exhaustion took its toll and he nodded his head in agreement. No one else had the energy, nor the nerve, to question it further and we made our way up to our rooms.  

Sera and I stuck to the back, as per normal. She had forgiven me for being dismissive but yet these past couple of days I couldn't help but notice that she was acting a bit distant. At first, I had chalked it up to her sickness- which was the one instance I hated that I was right- but after she healed up and was feeling better she still didn't seem to be acting like herself. She hadn't slept in my room since, instead she opted for her own bed. 

I had let her do as she chose, not wanting to push her and make her distance herself even more. The last thing I wanted to do was  smother her, but it didn't seem to matter how much space I gave her, she remained stagnant in her demeanor towards me. Not malicious, but not exactly affectionate either. Simply coexisting and somehow that was worse.

I closed the door softly behind us, secluding us in the unfamiliar room. We may share a house, but it felt like we had been worlds apart for the past week. Here, it felt cramped due to the proximity and I welcomed it. I truly felt we were finally breathing the same air and it was refreshing. 

"Would you like to be the first to shower?" I asked her. It hit me like a ton of bricks just how badly I wanted to shower with her, but due to my sometimes unfortunate circumstance of wearing a mask, that idea was moot. 

She nodded her head slightly and laid her suitcase flat on the floor and knelt down beside it. She retrieved her clothes and toiletries before disappearing into the small bathroom. I flopped down in the chair next to the window and tapped my fingers on the small desk in front of me. 

As the shower water ran, I tried not to focus on what was behind the door, but my mind failed me in that aspect by providing unsolicited images of a naked Sera with water trickling down her curves. I pressed my hand into my lap, trying to soothe the ache. After a week of not touching her, I was going mad. I was starved and she was the divine meal that would replenish me. Just before I had half the mind to say fuck it and march into that bathroom and take what was mine, the water stopped. 

After a few more minutes of her shuffling around in there she finally emerged, dressed in a tank top and shorts that left nearly nothing to the imagination, with a towel wrapped around her head. She found one of the complimentary laundry bags on the dresser and put her worn clothes in it, setting it next to her suitcase on the floor.

She finally turned towards me and we locked eyes. For the first time in a week, that electric charge crackled between us, pulling us towards one another like magnets. I stood and stalked over to her. Everything in my body told me to touch her, to pick her up and throw her onto that bed, to show her how much she drives me insane. How much I've missed her.

Her chest heaved up and down and pink flushed her cheeks. Her eyes lit up with that familiar intensity and I could see the war going on within them. Part of her wanted me to do everything I'd been thinking but the other part of her was obviously telling her to stay back. If only I could figure out why. 

I chose to do the smart thing and step around her, making my way into the bathroom for my own shower. Steam from her shower still lingered as I turned the faucet. I stepped into the shower and the freezing water pelted against my skin like ice; I welcomed it. The cold water gave enough of a shock to my system that it chased away the urge to make better use of that bed. 

Black paint ran in swirls around the drain and I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. I wear the paint constantly these days, though I was half considering only wearing the mask at home. The only catch would be how incomplete I'd feel. Without every piece of the outfit, I wasn't truly Vessel. 

After a minute of watching the paint run down the drain like I was hypnotized by it, I finished my shower quickly and got dressed. I ignored the mirror as I slipped my mask back on. It was uncomfortable considering my skin was still damp, but I didn't have much of a choice.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find Sera had already chosen her side of the bed. The small act made my chest ache. Something so mundane seemed so routine, it was almost as if we were a normal pairing. I walked around to the vacant side and slipped under the covers. My face had begun to itch and it felt suffocating. 

"I need you to sleep facing the wall." I finally said. She looked at me puzzled for a second before realization dawned on her and she gave me a nod in understanding. She shifted onto her side facing away from me and I turned off the light, making it pitch black in the room. 

The cool air hit my face as I pulled the mask away, I could've sang to the heavens for the relief I felt. I set the mask on the bedside table and settled into the bed. Sera did exactly what was asked and stayed facing the wall. Somehow, I knew I could trust her not to look in the middle of the night, regardless of how much her curiosity ate away at her. 

More trustworthy than yourself.

The pang of guilt struck through my chest. At the time, I thought I had been justified in getting information out of Jessie, but as the days had passed, I couldn't help but feel like what I did was wrong. Fundamentally, I knew that it was. I had gone behind her back for something. Regardless of what the something was, I was wrong for it. 

I turned and wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, relishing the feel of her skin against mine without a barrier. This way, we fit together like a puzzle piece and I couldn't have felt more at home. The guilt cut through me deeper. This girl was hand crafted just for me, and I'd done something that, if she found out, would make her resent me for an eternity. 

I squeezed her tighter, wanting to feel every inch of her skin against mine. I knew one day I'd have to tell her what I did and how much I found out, but not tonight. Tonight, she was my girl. My girl that had been put through so much hell and wore the pain around her neck like the grandest of diamonds. Which in itself made her stronger than I had ever thought possible.

"You're remarkable." I whispered before letting the exhaustion take me under.