What's Said in Silence

Sera-XXXXX

"I'll take the back stage half if you wanna take the front. I'm gonna focus more on the drums today." Adam spelled out his plan for the evening. Since the pictures I had taken while he was sick had turned out decent, the band decided to give me a position as a second photographer. Honestly, it was nice to feel useful and I was doing something I enjoyed. 

I gave Adam a nod and he took off to the back stage area. I stayed up front and off to the side, making sure I was angled towards where Vessel would enter the stage. I double checked all of my settings again to make sure none of my pictures came out blurry just as the guitar sounds for 'Chokehold' began to ring through the arena. 

This was the biggest venue I had seen them perform in yet, and that included some of the festivals that were held in open fields. I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in them for what they've accomplished. Their music was amazing and their antics on stage were entertaining, but beneath all of that, they worked hard. I couldn't speak for what the other members do during their time off tour, but Vessel constantly had either a pen or a guitar in his hand. 

When he's not busy with something else.

A spot of light shone on the floor of the stage, which signaled to me that Vessel was about to come out onto the stage. I readied my camera, hoping that the stage lights illuminated him well enough for my camera to pick up on his silhouette. I held it steady, taking as many pictures as quickly as I could as he walked across the stage. 

His voice rang through the mic and I paused for a split second, taking in the beautiful sound. No matter how many times I heard it, his voice would knock the oxygen from my lungs every time. I allowed myself a moment longer to absorb the ethereal sound before bringing myself back to earth and doing my job. 

Just as before, Vessel made sure to strike a couple of poses for me whenever I got up close. Some poses were definitely part of the aesthetic, but some I could tell were done for the sole purpose of making me smile- and they were working. I had never known someone who could make me smile like an idiot even when I was still royally pissed at them. 

Things had been pretty tense between us, not that my general demeanor had helped any. I had practically avoided being in the same room as him for more than a few minutes, at least until last night. Which had been a phenomenon all in itself.

I'd been respectful and stayed facing the opposite direction the entire night and even this morning when the alarm went off. I had allowed him the privacy he'd asked for, regardless of the curiosity that ate me alive the entire night and kept me awake for most of it. 

The very grace that he himself did not offer you.

I shrugged away the pessimistic thought. I might still be bitter about it, but there was nothing I could do to change it and right now was not the time to be sour. I had a task to complete and I couldn't let anything distract me from getting the best possible shots.

I managed to focus for the remainder of the concert, getting an equal number of shots of each band member. IV had definitely loosened up by comparison to the Germany tour, he had struck a couple of poses himself and involved himself more in III's flirtatious antics. It really added to the energy and the crowd had fed off of it, screaming with excitement at nearly every move the boys made. 

The last song came to a close and the lights went out, shrouding us in complete darkness. One of the security guards pointed a flash light at the ground and escorted me to the back stage area. Just before we disappeared I took out one of my ear plugs, curious to hear just how loud the crowd was. Deafening. These men were loved in a way I could never imagine. Pride swelled in my chest and I ducked behind the curtain and walked down the hall towards the dressing rooms.

I stepped into one of the rooms to find all the band members corralled in there, all of them looked exhausted but they were still buzzing from adrenaline. They weren't going to make actual use of the dressing room besides using it as a cool down spot, so no one batted an eye when I stepped through the threshold. 

Vessel turned towards me, his chest heaving and his body glistening with sweat. Most of the paint had worn off but there were still a few streaks of it gliding down his chest like black rivers. I took a deep breath, hoping that would calm the flustered feelings I got from looking at him. Now was not the time or place. 

"Did you get any good ones?" He asked, casual in tone, but I could feel the darker edge in his voice. The air between us crackled, sending a shock wave to my system. I thought about dousing myself in cold water to calm the growing need within me, but I highly doubted it would help. 

Get it together. You're in public.

I turned my camera towards him and started flipping through some of the pictures. He commented on the ones he particularly liked while I tried my best not to notice how he inched closer and closer until our skin grazed each other. Everything else in the room seemed to fade away and there was just us. Just him.

"Talented, little fox." He whispered in my ear, though it came out as more of a growl. Chills ran down my spine and goosebumps covered my skin. I could lie to myself and blame it on the A/C running through the venue, but it wouldn't be very convincing. This was the effect this man had on me, and even if our time together was as limited as I feared it might be, he would have this effect on me for lifetimes to come. 

I looked into the black mesh of his mask. Though I couldn't see his eyes, I could feel his gaze searing into my own. Phantom touches from last night imprinted on my skin. The way his nose rubbed against the crook of my neck and how his lashes had tickled my skin. It occurred to me that last night had been a moment of vulnerability for him. 

An unwanted, familiar buzz came from my back pocket, effectively ripping me out of my fantasy world. Everyone was here, less than a few feet from me, which meant I was getting a text I really didn't want to read. I left my phone in my pocket untouched and went back to flipping through the photos, hoping I didn't look as out of sorts as I felt.