Lifeline

Chapter 8

As I stirred from sleep the following day, I became acutely aware that the bed was empty beside me. The distant murmur of Alex's voice drifted in from the living room, and I blinked away the remnants of sleep, my mind slowly piecing together the fragments of the night before. A contented smile played on my lips as I stretched, relishing in the memories that danced at the edges of my consciousness.
With a gentle sigh, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, the cool floor beneath my feet waking me up further. Still clad in his shirt, the fabric soft against my skin, I padded over to the mirror. My reflection stared back at me, the shirt hanging slightly off my shoulder, my hair tousled in a way that seemed to mirror the tangled thoughts in my mind. There was a radiant glow to my cheeks, a reflection of the happiness that had seeped into my being.
I dressed quickly, opting for a pair of leggings that provided comfort. As I walked into the living room, my smile lingered, and my thoughts were still filled with the warmth of the previous night. "Hey, who a—" My words trailed off as my gaze landed on the unexpected sight of my mother sitting on the sofa. The surprise morphed into a mixture of embarrassment and guilt as the realisation hit me like a freight train. I had forgotten to call or text her for an entire week, lost in the whirlwind of emotions that had consumed me.
My mother's raised eyebrows conveyed her displeasure even before she spoke. "Oh my god." The words left me as I stood there, caught between the awkwardness of the situation and the knowledge that I had neglected my responsibilities. She looked at me with a mix of disappointment and concern, her expression mirroring the unease I felt deep within.
Without a second thought, I crossed my arms in front of my chest, a reflexive move to conceal the arm that still bore the scars of my struggles. Those scars were still healing, physical reminders of the pain that had driven me to the edge. I took a deep breath, summoning the courage to address the situation head-on. "Uhm... this is awkward," I admitted, my voice carrying a mix of embarrassment and sincerity.
Switching to German, I addressed her directly, mindful of Alex's presence and his inability to understand our conversation. His confused expression only added to the tension in the room. "This... is Alex?" I clarified, a sense of unease knotting in my stomach as I anticipated her reaction.
"Oh, I know. He already introduced himself to me," she responded, her tone a blend of coolness and displeasure. I could sense her frustration, her worry for me mixing with her irritation at my lapse in communication.
My heart sank, and I quickly tried to defuse the situation. "Please don't be mad! I kind of forgot to text or call... I was a little distracted." I looked at Alex, a silent plea for understanding in my eyes. His inability to comprehend our exchange only magnified the challenge of the moment.
I stood there, acutely aware of the weight of my mother's disappointment and the discomfort that hung in the air.

My mom had always been in the loop about Alex. Back when we were together, I shared the details of our long-distance relationship with her—the frequent trips to the UK, the shared moments, and the affection that blossomed despite the miles between us. She had been supportive and happy for my happiness, even if she had reservations about him not being from Germany and not speaking the language. Her English was limited, barely enough to hold a conversation.
"I'm so sorry... I can explain." I stammered, my words tinged with a mixture of embarrassment and anxiety. Her serious gaze bore into me with a mixture of curiosity and concern.
"I'm listening," she replied, her tone firm yet open to hearing what I had to say. I gestured for her to give me a moment and retreated to the bathroom. I pulled on a sweater and slipped the fluffy socks from last night over my leggings, crafting a casual appearance that masked my true intentions. As I returned, Alex was already in the process of preparing coffee and making tea for himself. I sat down beside my mom and enveloped her in a hug, seeking comfort and a sense of reassurance.
"I'm sorry," I began again, my voice carrying a note of sincerity. "He was here in Germany, and one thing led to another, and suddenly he was here... and, well, we're back together." I felt my mother's stern expression soften, replaced by a tentative smile.
"I had a feeling you guys were back together when he opened the door for me in his boxers," she quipped, her tone teasing. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I let out a nervous giggle. I hugged her tightly, relieved that she was taking the news well. "Oh god... I'm so sorry, Mom."
"It's alright," she reassured me, hugging me back. "I just wanted to check up on you since you just completely disappeared. I was worried."
"Nothing to worry about here; he's amazing," I said with a loving smile, glancing at Alex as he handed us both cups of coffee. I scooted over to make space for him to sit next to me, and he placed his tea on the coffee table before gently resting his hand on my thigh. The reassuring weight of his touch was like an anchor, grounding me in this moment of family interaction.
"You know I don't understand a single word of German, so I'll trust you that you're not badmouthing me to your mom," Alex commented with a playful grin, clearly aware of the ongoing conversation between my mother and me.
"Actually, I just told her that you're amazing," I quipped, my smile growing as he leaned in to press a sweet kiss to my forehead. It was these small moments—the exchange of unspoken affections—that made me grateful for the rekindling of our connection.
My mother stayed a little while longer, engaging in coffee talk with us. I made sure to translate whenever her English fell short, ensuring that she and Alex could communicate. It warmed my heart to witness her effort to bridge the gap and connect with him despite the language barrier. She was protective, and her acceptance of him meant the world to me.
Soon, she announced her departure, reminding me to keep in touch and promising to do the same. We exchanged heartfelt hugs, and then she turned her attention to Alex, pulling him into an unexpectedly tight bear hug. It was a comical sight to see the contrast between her petite stature and his taller frame as he found himself on the receiving end of her affectionate squeeze.
I closed the door once she left and banged my head on the door. "OH MY GOD. How could I forget to text her???? It's a wonder she even used the fucking doorbell instead of just using the spare key to get in. Imagine she would've walked in on u- god no.." Alex hugged me from behind and chuckled. "Good thing we're not having sex for a while. I would've loved waking you up earlier.. But nope." He kissed my neck. "Stop it! You know this isn't helping, right?" I pushed him away and laughed. "Guess you now know my mom, though." "She's lovely. She almost hit me when I opened the door earlier!" "Those were two statements that don't match up, Alex. Lovely, but wanted to hit you?" "Hey I mean, I'm also lovely, but sometimes..", he spanked my ass hard while walking past me and into the living room, "sometimes I hit too." I stood there, shaking my head, and then followed him. We decided to get ready and actually leave the house for the first time since he got here, and after a quick shower, he started getting dressed while I put on some light makeup. He picked out my clothes, and I enjoyed being taken care of in the ways he did.

My heart was racing as I sat across from him, our fingers casually brushing against each other. The coffee shop we went to was pretty busy since it was a Saturday, yet all I could focus on was his eyes. I realised that even when I came to the UK, we never really spent much time outside together. We would usually just make use of the little time we had by spending all of it together. Just the two of us. After the first time I visited, we always spent the days at his house, and I couldn't help but feel a mixture of excitement and shyness. He was playing with my fingers, and the thought that everyone here could see he was mine was just amazing. He cleared his throat, a faint smile at the corner of his lips. "So, there's something I wanted to talk to you about," he began, his voice almost showing a hint of nervousness. Him? Nervous? "I was thinking... how would you feel about going on a date with me? like an official date. I realised we've never really been on one." My heart skipped a beat, and I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. The idea of going on a real date with him felt slightly intimidating. It wasn't like I hadn't spent time with him before; we had countless moments together, but this felt different—somehow more official? He continued, his gaze never leaving mine. "I've been wanting to take you out, just you and me. Somewhere special. I never get to show off my beautiful girl, and it's about time." I couldn't help but smile, feeling a warmth spread through me. He had always known how to read me, and it was like he had just done it again. Just when I thought about him and me being out in public, he asked me out on a real date. It was part of what drew me to him and what made our dynamic so unique and fulfilling. "Would you like that?" he asked, his tone gentle. I nodded, my excitement getting very obvious now. "Yes, I would really like that." His smile widened, a sense of relief washing over his features. "Good. I've been looking forward to this." "You didn't think I'd say no, did you?" I giggled, and he just shook his head, smiling. As we continued to talk, I could feel the nervous energy between us disappearing again. He shared his ideas for the date: a nice little restaurant he looked up the other day, followed by a walk through a nearby park. The simplicity of his plans made me feel at ease, reminding me that this was about us spending time together. And as the conversation flowed, I found myself just talking about random things. We shared a simple conversation, and he listened intently, his eyes never leaving mine. The thought of our first real date still made my heart flutter, but it was a good kind of flutter—a mixture of excitement, anticipation, and a sense of closeness. I realised that this date was not just about going out; it was about exploring a different facet of our relationship. By the time we finished our drinks and left the coffee shop, I found myself looking forward to our date. The usual shyness was still there, especially when he took my hand while we were walking back to the car, but it was overshadowed by the knowledge that this experience would be another beautiful part of our relationship. We drove back home, and I let him drive this time under the condition that I'd get to pick the music, and he instantly agreed.. He regretted that decision when I put on my favourite playlist filled with metalcore, which he decided to call "screamy music".

After arriving home, we took a moment to freshen up and change in preparation for our upcoming date. I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement as I looked at myself in the mirror. The prospect of what lay ahead was exhilarating, and I cherished the sense of anticipation that bubbled within me. It felt like a rite of passage, a pivotal moment in our journey that signified a renewed beginning.
Getting ready felt like stepping into a new chapter, and I couldn't help but smile as I thought of it as a "date." The word held a certain magic, a resonance that spoke of shared experiences and the potential for something beautiful to unfold. I reveled in the innocence of the label, feeling a flutter of nervousness that was reminiscent of a teenager being asked out by a long-time crush.
My heart raced at the thought of spending time together in a different context—a context that allowed us to focus solely on each other, free from the distractions of daily life. It was a chance to explore the depths of our connection, to rediscover the nuances of our dynamic, and to create new memories that would intertwine with the fabric of our relationship.
With a contented sigh, I joined Alex in the living room, where he stood looking as dapper as ever. Our eyes met, and a shared understanding passed between us—the understanding that this moment was special, a turning point that marked the beginning of something precious.
Soon, we were back in the car, the engine humming to life as we drove to the restaurant he had chosen. The anticipation in the air was palpable, and our conversation was a mix of excited chatter and shared laughter. It was as if time had slowed down, allowing us to savour every second of the ride.

As I walked into the restaurant, excitement went through my body again. Tonight was different; it was a date, a chance for us to step away from our usual routines and just enjoy each other's company. He had promised me something special, and as I glanced around, I could already see that this was special. He was holding my hand and wearing dress pants and a white button-up. His eyes met mine, and there was desire dancing within them, and a soft smile curled his lips. "You look absolutely stunning," he whispered, his voice low and filled with a warmth that sent shivers down my spine. I was wearing a dress that he had picked out for me—a simple yet elegant piece paired with some black heels. He walked me to the table. He had chosen a secluded spot where we could focus solely on each other. Throughout the evening, he treated me like a princess, his attentiveness making me feel like I was the centre of his universe. He pulled out my chair, his touch sending a shiver up my spine as his fingers brushed against my skin. He guided me through the menu, making sure to select dishes that he knew I'd like once I translated it to him. As we talked, his gaze never left mine; his complete attention made me feel so valued. He shared stories, made me laugh, and listened intently as I spoke, his genuine interest in every word I said making my heart swell with affection. When the dessert arrived—a slice of chocolate cake—he picked up a fork and carefully fed me a bite, his eyes never leaving mine. The sweetness of the cake was nothing compared to the warmth that spread through me from his action.
After dinner, he led me to a quiet park where a blanket had been spread out. "How did you manage to organise this?" I looked at him and smiled in awe of how romantic he could be. "Big tip for the waiter, and maybe I had to beg him a little." He chuckled, and we sat down. He held me close, his arm around my shoulders, as we looked up at the stars. The soft breeze was a soothing backdrop to our intimate conversation. It was a nice spring night—not warm yet—but having his arm around me was all the warmth I needed. "You deserve to be treated like a princess, you know," he said, his voice soft. "You are precious to me, and I want you to feel loved in every moment we share." I smiled, and I leaned in to rest my head against his shoulder. In his arms, I felt safe and loved. This date was proof of his devotion, a reminder that the Alex I knew extended beyond just control and dominance—a reminder that he cared, was affectionate, and had a deep understanding of my needs. As we continued to talk and laugh under the stars, I knew that this night would forever hold a special place in my heart. And in his presence, I realised that belonging to him wasn't just about giving up control; it was about trusting him with my heart and giving it to someone who would always hold it close and protect it. He reached out and took my hand in his. "You know, it's hard to believe that it's almost time for me to go back," he said softly, his gaze fixed on the stars above. I sighed; a mixture of sadness and disappointment was all I felt. "I know. It feels like the days together are slipping away too quickly." He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I wish I could stay longer, but we both knew this time would come. We still have a whole week, but the distance has never been easy." I nodded, my fingers tracing absent patterns on his hand. "I've been trying not to think about it too much, but it's been on my mind. What are we going to do when you're back in the UK?" He turned to me, his eyes locking on mine. "We'll make it work. Just like we did before. We've come so far, and I'm not willing to let it all go away." A small smile tugged at my lips. "I don't want that either. But it's going to be a challenge, isn't it?" He nodded. "It won't be easy, but we've done it before. We'll find a way to stay connected and make time for each other. And whenever the chance comes, I'll be back here with you." I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling a sense of comfort in his words. "I guess I just worry sometimes. What if the distance becomes too much?" He cupped my chin, tilting my face up to meet his gaze. "We won't let it. We'll communicate, we'll be patient, and we'll continue to enjoy what we have. This time it's different." I looked into his eyes and felt a sense of hope. "You really believe that, don't you?" He smiled, his thumb brushing gently against my cheek. "With all my heart. It's something we've built together, something that we'll get through." I snuggled closer to him, taking comfort in his presence. "I love you," I whispered, the words carrying all the emotion I felt. He pressed a kiss on my forehead. "And I love you. No matter the distance, no matter the challenges, that's something that will never change." As we sat there, wrapped in each other's arms under the night sky, I felt safe. Our future might hold uncertainties, but with his love and our shared commitment, I knew that we could navigate the distance and build a future that was just as beautiful and fulfilling as the moments we had together.

"You know," he began, his voice steady but with a hint of hesitation, "I've been thinking about our future a lot lately." I nodded, my heart starting to race. Hearing him bring it up now felt like a weighty moment. "I've been wondering," he continued, "if you've ever considered the idea of moving to the UK." His question caught me off guard, and I blinked in surprise. Moving to the UK had crossed my mind before. The thought of uprooting my life and starting over in a different country seemed both thrilling and daunting, but I never really thought about it in detail. "I mean," he added quickly, his expression softening, "it's just something I wanted to discuss, to see if it's even a possibility. Not now.. but in the future?" I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. "It's not something I've thought about seriously yet, to be honest. But... I'm listening." His fingers were gently brushing against mine. "I know it's a big step, and I don't want you to feel pressured. Our relationship is important to me, and I want to make sure we're both on the same page about our future." I appreciated his honesty and his consideration. "I appreciate you bringing this up. It's just... moving to another country is a huge decision." He nodded, understanding in his eyes. "Of course it is. I wouldn't want you to make a choice like this lightly. But I also want you to know that if it's something you're open to exploring, I would be here to support you every step of the way." I smiled, feeling a sense of warmth wash over me. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?" He chuckled softly. "I am. Our relationship is important to me, even if we just got it back, and I believe we can create something beautiful together. Whether it's here or in the UK, I want us to have a future that we both feel excited about." I leaned into his side, the comfort of his presence easing my nerves. "I'm grateful that you're being so open about this. It's a lot to think about." He turned to me, his gaze sincere. "Take your time; think it over. And whatever you decide, just know that I'm here for you." We sat there in silence for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. The idea of moving to the UK was both intimidating and exhilarating, and I knew I had a lot to consider. But in that moment, as we sat there, a shared vision of a future that was full of possibilities just opened up, no matter where it might lead us.
I turned to him, curiosity in my eyes. "Can I ask you something?" I began, my heart fluttering with a mixture of excitement and fear. He turned to me, his gaze softening. "Of course, love. You can always ask me anything." I took a deep breath, my fingers tracing patterns on his hand. "I've been thinking about our future too. You know, where we see ourselves down the line." A small smile tugged at his lips. "I've thought about it too.. apart from the whole moving to the UK thing. What's on your mind?" I looked into his eyes, searching for a glimpse of his thoughts. "Can you tell me about your idea of a perfect future? Like, what do you envision for us?" He tilted his head, his expression thoughtful. "Well, my perfect future involves us being happy and fulfilled. I see us growing together and supporting each other's dreams." I nodded, a warm feeling spreading through me. "That sounds wonderful." He hesitated for a moment, as if carefully choosing his words. "And I've always thought about having a family, you know. Children running around, laughter filling our home Maybe even getting married someday." His words hung in the air, and I felt my heart skip a beat. The idea of a family was both beautiful and overwhelming, and a rush of emotions washed over me. He looked at me, his gaze filled with a mix of hope and uncertainty. "Is that something you've ever thought about?" he asked gently. I took another deep breath, my fingers tightening around his. "I'll be honest, the idea of having children scares me a bit. It's not that I don't want them in the future, but it's such a huge responsibility, you know? And I worry about whether I'd be a good mom." He nodded, his expression understanding. "It's completely natural to have those concerns. Parenting is a big step, and it's okay to take your time to feel ready. We can explore that path when and if you're comfortable." I felt a weight lift off my shoulders at his words. The fact that he wasn't pressuring me and that he understood my fears meant the world to me. "Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you for understanding." He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. "You don't have to rush into anything, love. Our future is something we'll build together, step by step." I nestled into his embrace, feeling a sense of warmth and reassurance. "I'm lucky to have you," I murmured, my heart swelling with affection. "We're in this together," he replied. "And no matter where it leads us, I know it'll be something beautiful."

I smiled, my heart full of the joy and connection that had filled our time together. The moments we shared felt like precious gems, and I relished in the warmth of our togetherness. The surroundings seemed to fade into the background as our attention remained firmly fixed on each other.
We lingered a little longer, the minutes stretching into moments of quiet conversation and shared laughter. As time wore on, a subtle change in the weather prompted me to shiver. "I'm starting to get cold," I confessed, wrapping my arms around myself in an attempt to ward off the slight chill.
With an understanding smile, he nodded in agreement. "Perhaps it's time we head back home," he suggested, his gaze filled with a mixture of fondness and consideration. I nodded in agreement, my smile lingering as we began the process of gathering our things and preparing to leave the park. He gave me his jacket, letting it fall over my shoulders.
There was a sense of bittersweetness in knowing that our time here was coming to an end. As we walked back along the familiar path, the echoes of our footsteps seemed to mark the passage of an enchanting interlude. Our conversation continued, the words flowing as easily as they always did, carrying with them a sense of familiarity and comfort.
As we reached the car, I couldn't help but glance back at the park, a silent farewell to the memories we had woven in its embrace. With a mixture of reluctance and anticipation, I climbed into the car beside Alex. The engine purred to life, the hum of its power a soothing backdrop to our shared thoughts.
The drive back home was marked by a comfortable silence, with the remnants of our time in the park still palpable in the air around us. The world outside the car seemed to blur as we navigated the streets, lost in our thoughts and the sense of companionship that was as constant as the hum of the engine.
Upon arriving home, I stepped out of the car, the cool night air wrapping around me like a comforting embrace. We walked together to the front door, sharing a moment of unity before stepping back into the familiarity of our own space.