Chapter 7: Taking the first step

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"The first step is always the hardest."

"Rain, please, you have to listen to Phi once na?" Phayu hated the pleading tone in his voice, but he had to do everything he could to get this boy to notice him. For him, it was a matter of life and death. He was standing on a precipice, and it would be only Rain's answer that would be his safety net, or nothing at all. And he knew that he needed to tell Rain what he felt, before he decided to give up on himself. The boy standing in front of him, pulled his heart like no one else had done. His beauty, his innocence and his quiet attitude, made Phayu realise that Rain was nothing like what he had thought he would be. So he would have to adjust what he would say, how he would say it.

Rain nodded, "okay Phi, please tell me. I don't want to prolong this discussion. My friends are waiting for me." "Rain, first, whatever you heard about me is true. There are things in my past that I am ashamed of. I am not going to lie and tell you that seeing you has made me a changed man, but you have definitely stirred interest in my heart, a heart I had long thought dead. Second, I am not looking for a night with you. If that was the case, I would have taken you home on the day we danced together. You and I both know you would have come home with me that day if I had called." Rain looked up at Phayu's words, shocked at realising how much truth was there in them. He would have literally been easy pickings for Phayu that day, so why had he done nothing?

"Third, when I said you were taken, I didn't mean you were my boyfriend. I was not trying to stake a claim or something. I don't know what came over me, but I was .. jealous I guess." Rain was even more shocked. What was this man trying to tell him? "And fourth, I want your permission today." "Permission? What kind of permission?" "Permission to officially hit on you. You are 18 years old, and I am 24, so it's obvious I can't go further that that. But I would like to start a journey with you, and see how it goes. I am not expecting you to accept me right away, never will I do that, but I still want to ask you for a chance to prove myself worthy of your love," Phayu spoke, wearing his heart on his sleeve. Rain was flabbergasted. Of everything he had expected, this candid confession was definitely not one of them.

"Phi, since you have been honest with me, let me reciprocate. I am 18 years old, as you said, and you are 24. You are worldly wise, and I have never even been in a relationship. If I am to accept you, I will definitely have to really think hard and beyond your current reputation. I don't want to answer you in the spur of the moment and regret it later. One circulated photo, and I already had dozens of people come and tell me about you. If it becomes official, I need to be both mentally and emotionally prepared for the onslaught of your past 'victims', and so, please give me a while. Hope you understand," Rain said, his words showing not only someone smart, but mature and wise beyond his years. Phayu was very impressed because it was not something he had foreseen, but his admiration for Rain went up tremendously. "Okay Rain, I will wait impatiently for your answer. In the meanwhile, can I at least message you once in a while?" he asked, hoping beyond hope that it would be yes.

"Phi, since I am taking this time to think about you, about 'us', I feel it would be better if I am the one to contact you first," he said, smiling slightly to take the sting off his words. Phayu's face fell, but then he smiled right back. "Of course Rain, I will be looking forward to your reply," he said, smiling on the outside, but he could feel his heart shatter, knowing that a boy like Rain would never be interested in someone like him. But he also knew that no matter what happened, he would wait forever for this boy. It already seemed like he had waited a lifetime for him, so what was a few more days? The two made their way back to where Pai and Rain's friends were waiting. All of them looked up as Phayu and Rain reached the table, with the same quizzical look on their faces. 'What had happened?' was probably the only question on their minds right now. "Thank you for giving me chance to talk to you Rain. Let's meet again soon. Ai'Pai, let's go," Phayu said. Pai got up from the table, and the juniors all waiied to the two older men, as they left.

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