The Red Thread of Destiny

Chapter 27: New Year; New Beginning

"Any new beginning is forged from the shards of the past, not from the abandonment of the past."

Rain stirred, his hands patting the bed beside him, searching for Phayu. When he didn't find him, he sat up and stretched, feeling delicious aches and pains in places he didn't know could get aches and pains. But the feeling in his heart was full and his soul was content. Finally! Finally he belonged to Phayu; and Phayu belonged to him. He would never let anyone, or any old memory take Phayu away from him. He would ensure that every moment from now on, Phayu would live his happiest life, that he would smile every day. He would make sure that no sorrow would touch his Phayu. He knew that this would be their new beginning, and while he understood that the past could not be buried and could not be abandoned, he also would make sure that not a single shard from that broken past would hurt his P'Phayu.

He got down from the bed and pulled the robe around him, wanting to go and look for the man he was thinking about. He stepped forward, and saw Phayu in the balcony. Love simply saturated him. Phayu turned his head slightly sideways, looking down, and his open hair blew around his face. Rain was mesmerised. But as he looked more closely at Phayu, a memory stirred in his mind. A long ago memory resurfaced and Rain drew in a sharp breath. "It was you?" he gasped, and Phayu turned around. "Hey baby," he said softly as he came forward. "How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?" But Rain did not reply, staring at him unblinkingly. "What? Is there something on my face? What happened baby?"

Now Phayu was beginning to get worried. Rain had still not uttered a word, and was still staring at him. "It's really you," he whispered again, breaking the silence that stretched between them. "What do you mean Rain?" Rain cleared this throat to remove the raspy feeling he had in it. "Phi," he said. "Yes baby?" "When you come to Chiang Mai to see P'Amy, where do you go and what do you do?" he asked, his heart beating faster and faster in anticipation. Of all the questions Phayu had thought Rain could ask him, this definitely had not been one. "Well, usually I first go to the cliffs near her house and leave a lily behind, then I go to her memorial, and then her family's home," he said. "Why do you ask?"

Rain could not believe his ears. For 3 years, he had looked diligently for that lost man, wanting at least once to connect with him, and try to help him heal, even knowing that maybe that person might not appreciate him. But for Rain, seeing someone in distress was not the easiest sight. Now when he realised that the person he had been looking for was Phayu, his heart clenched even more. The sorrow and heartbreak he had felt emanating from that person had been deeply impactful and he had never been able to forget it. Rain swayed, tears suddenly falling from his eyes. "Rain!" Phayu jumped towards him and held him tight. "What is it baby? Please talk to me na?" Phayu asked, scared with all these questions and worried about Rain. 'Was Rain already regretting being with him? Had he hurt him too much?' These were the questions that were floating around in his head. He could not afford to lose Rain now. He was too emotionally invested in him, and he would do anything in his power to keep Rain with him.

"Phi," Rain's voice was drenched with tears. "Yes my love? Tell me, tell me what it is?" Phayu was desperate by now to know what was happening. "Three years ago, we were in Chiang Mai for the New Year, just like this," Rain sniffled. "I had gone for a walk to the cliffs, when I met a Phi. He took a step towards the cliff and I though he was going to, you know, kill himself. I pushed into him, and we both fell. Then he dropped a flower into the abyss and left." By now, Phayu was shocked. That had been something that he had almost forgotten. "I have been desperately looking for that Phi you know," he said sniffling and smiling at the same time. "Why did you want to find him?" Phayu asked, a little irritated, even though he knew now Rain was looking for him. 'But what if it had been someone else? And what if Rain had found that person before?' Phayu thought, scowling.