My Lover || Tom Kaulitz

PART 8 : pain

⚠️SMUT WARNING ⚠️
TOMS POV
I love her so much I felt so bad about her mum " round 2? " she whispered to me " what really " I asked surprised " yea I want to keep my mind off it and I really like it " she said smirking " okay lay down " I said . She lay down on her back . I took my boxer off so my dick fell out I could see her Staring at it " you like the view huh ?" I said smirking at her " I love it " she said making eye contact with me . I started to take off her underwear. I opened my nightstand drawer and pulled a condom out and put it on " you sure ?" I asked " yes " she said laying her head down on my pillow. I rubbed my tip against her clit Slightly putting it in " mm " she moaned. I put it in and started off slow and went faster I was hovering over her and her nails were digging in my back " hmm Tommy " she moaned out loud " shh they might hear you " I said in between groans. I went faster and her moans were uncontrollable , She was screaming , I let out some moans and groans . " I'm almost there " I said moaning . I could feel her warm cum which made me cum . I pulled out and took off the condom and threw it in the bin . Just the site of her this way made me cum , then I accidentally cummed on her stomach " sorry" I said out of breath . She nodded. She was like disabled she couldn't move " I need a shower but I can't feel my legs " she said a bit out of breath " come I'll carry you " I said picking her up . I opened my door to my bathroom and closed the toilet seat and sat her down there . I turned on the shower and made it warm I stood her up and helped her to the shower and got in with her . I started to clean the cum of her stomach. She was staring at me the whole time . I started to clean myself up and took my shower gel I squeezed the bottle giving her some shower gel and squeezed some in my hand . I had finished putting soap around me and helped Evie " here let me help you " I said. We got out of the shower I rubbed her with the towel and wrapped it around her . I grabbed another one and did the same to me . " Did you want me to bring you some clothes or one of my t-shirts?" I asked " sure " she said smiling at me . I was melting at the sight of her smiling at me her smile was gorgeous , it could light up a whole room . I went into my room and put on another pair of boxers and grabbed a t-shirt for her and new underwear for her . " here " I said walking in the bathroom giving it to her " thanks " she said . I walked out and sat on my bed waiting for her patiently after I put on my boxers

EVIES POV
I love the way he takes care off me I love him so much I don't know what I would be doing right now if I haven't met him I would probably be dead . I put on my underwear and put on the shirt tom gave me it was a big on me but it was fine . I walked out seeing him sitting on the bed I walked out and closed the door behind me . Me and him made eye contact it very long . I cannot keep my eyes of him . I keep looking at him then an image of my mum popped in my mind for no reason I started crying a bit but tom cannot see cuz my head was down breaking the eye contact I wiped my tears my hands covering my eyes " are you okay ?" He asked with worry in his voice " no " I sobbed " Evie.. " he said with a sad tone . He went over to me and brought me in a very comforting hug . " you'll be okay I'm here " he said brushing his finger through my hair . " I love you so much " he whispered to me " I love you more " I said getting closer to him . He kissed my forehead his fingers brushing through my hair " I got so lucky with you " he said . " what do you mean ?" I asked " you're such a sweetheart and pretty girl I just don't know how lucky I got to be with you , you really mean a lot to me .. " he said . I looked at him with dried up tears , I kissed his cheek " I should make us something to eat . " tom said " I want to help " I said tiling up my head a bit to look at him " comeon then " he said breaking the hug and unlocking the door . We went downstairs to the kitchen to met bill there " heyy " bill said with a smirk on his face " hii " I said waving at him " what do you want to eat ?" Tom asked " pancakes ? " I suggested. " uhh yes ! " he said with a sassy tone , I walked towards the fridge to get 2 eggs and milk and placed them on the counter . Then I went in a cupboard to get flour and vegetable oil . I started to mix the ingredients with tom helping me . We got some flour on each other by "accident" , he had some on his cheeks and shirt and I had some just on my nose . I got the frying pan out and started to cook them . " are you okay ?" tom asked " yeah why? " I said " I don't know you've have been awfully quiet " he said with worry " yeah don't worry " I said smiling at him , he went over to me and kissed my cheek " I love you so fucking much Evie " he whispered against my cheek, it sent shivers down my spine " I love you too tom kaulitz " I said making eye contact with him . He walked away with a smirk on his face . " so what are you making " bill said walking over " pancakes" I said flipping the pancakes in the pan " now , that is talent" bill said pointing his finger at the pan " what do you mean it's easy " I said chuckling " uh no , I tried once the pancakes ended up on the floor the second I did it " he said . I just laughed at it " it's not funny" he said nudging me with his elbow." finee I won't laugh " I said giggling.

TIME SKIP TO WHEN SHE FINISHED THE PANCAKES

" EVERYONE THE PANCAKES ARE READY" i yelled , I could hear Tom's very hurried , loud heavy footsteps coming down the stairs " am I the first one " he said walking into the dining room " yeah " I said kissing his cheek " thanks my love " he said with a smile on his face " right I'm here " Gustav said walking into the room , he sat down in the chair facing tom .
It took a while for bill and Georg to get in the dining room for some reason. " these are very good " bill said with a stuffed mouth " thanks " I giggled . We had finished out food and I decided I wanting to check out my mum's house even though she was dead . " I'm going to go somewhere I will be back in like 40 mins " I said opening the front door " where are you going?" Tom asked running towards me " my mum's house " I said smiling at him " okay just be careful please " he said kissing me " I will don't worry " I said walking out the front door to the car . I got in the car and started the engine and drove off .

TIME SKIP TO WHEN SHE GOT THERE .
⚠️SELF HARM IS INCLUDED FROM HERE , SKIP IF NEEDED ⚠️

I got out of the car and went to the front door and unlocked, I went in a very cold breeze hit my face it was freezing probably because there was no warmth here . I went in closing the door behind, I looked around almost tearing up . I went upstairs to my mum's bedroom and layed on her bed taking in her scent one last time , I immediately burst out in tears remembering what type of brat I was to her it broke me , I should've respected her more . It is my birthday tomorrow and she won't be able to see me turn 17 , I got out and went to the bathroom and looked through the cupboards still crying, I found very sharp scissors , I've haven't done self harm for three years that was when my father abused me and raped me . I took the scissors and sat down leaning against the wall , I thought about it for a bit then I did it . I cut myself about 8 times on my left wrist very deep not thinking about the pain . That's when my phone rang , I took my phone out my pocket to see Tom's was calling me , I dried my tears and stopped crying.

" hello ? " I said answering
" heyy are you okay you've been gone for 50 mins ?" Tom asked with worry
" yeah I'm fine don't worry" I said with a groan of the Pain on my wrist
" You sound like you have been crying, are you sure you are okay " he asked It went real silent as I began tearing up again
" no tom im not okay " I sobbed into the phone
" what happened.. " he asked with a soft tone , I debating either to tell his about my self harm or not .
" I'll be okay I'm coming soon " I said calming down a bit and smiling
" okay be safe " he said
" I love you so fucking much tom kaulitz world's can't explain it " I said sniffing .
" I love you too my love can't wait to see you again " he said
" good byee " I said
" bye " he said .
I ended the call letting my phone dropped, I couldn't move my left arm . I crawled beside the cupboard under the sink and opened it taking out the bandages . I wrapped the bandages around my left wrist . Where I was sit on the left side there were drops of blood on the face . I took a towel and cleaned it up , I stood up leaving the bathroom to go to my old room. I went through my closet to find a long sleeve shirt so no one would notice.
It was a lightish brown colour with lacing around the neck area . I went out of my room and went into my mum's room one last time observing the room that's when I saw a piece of paper on the nightstand , I went over to the nightstand and took the piece of paper it was folded 4 times and it say " Evie " on the front, I opened it and started to read it

What it said

Im so sorry Evie if you're reading this right now by the time you are reading this I am probably dead . I love you so much but I can't continue living, this is not because of you just my own problems. I love you so much never forget that you mean the world to me I would never do anything to hurt you , hope you live for me with tom , you'll need him , he will help you through this in every way possible , from the second I saw him look at you the way he does I can tell he loves you . So love for me Evie and never forget me .

Your mum - Katherine xoxo
Live well

I broke down in tears when I finished reading it does this mean she killed herself I don't know , I was screaming, crying, sobbing and hyperventilating, I took my phone out of my pocket and called tom still crying

" Hi evi- " he was cut off by me crying
" I need you right now I don't know what to do " I sobbed
" Im getting a taxi Right now hang on " he said worried
He ended the call I threw my phone across the room in anger and sadness. I rolled up my sleeve and started to unwrap my bandage , I took off my bandage and started to starch the cuts opening them up again .

Y'all this chapter is kinda sad 😭
Sorry for not posting I just don't know
What to write 😭😭
2082 words 🫶🏻
-kamile xoxo