My Lover || Tom Kaulitz

Part 22 : the loop keeps on going .

He gets on top of me and starts kissing me aggressively , I kiss back but eventually stop pushing him slightly away " I'm not in the mood sorry " I softly say

" you're never in the mood to do shit " he scoffed

" the fuck is that supposed to mean ?! " I raised my voice a bit raising a eyebrow

" it's means you're a lazy slut that's cuts herself , you destroyed your body " he yelled at me getting off me

All of a sudden Debbie bursts in the room " who do you think you are talking to her that way !? Huh ?! " she screams coming to my side pushing Tom away

I look at Tom with tears in my eyes as Debbie yelled at him holding me in her arms , him yelling back cursing her out

" remember what we talked about? You said sure to it so come with me ! " she yelled getting up and dragging Tom with her

I heard the front door open then get slammed then kicked at " you fucking cunt ! " I hear Tom yell

Debbie came back upstairs and immediately hugged me " he doesn't deserve you , you're better than him , he's an asshole that needs to be put in his place " she comforted me while I cried in her arms

" he said he wouldn't shame me in any way " I say in between sobs

" he's a fucking liar ! You can never trust boys you never know what they're actually doing behind your back , you can't trust their words . " she softly said cupping my cheeks

" I can't believe I believed him " I sobbed

Debbie hugged me again and held me in her arms kissing my forehead softly " can you promise you won't cut yourself again over that asshole , please " she begged looking at me softly

I stay silent knowing I probably will " I'll try " was all I could get out .

After a few minutes of silence and being hugged by Debbie , I spoke softly . " can I ask something? "

" yes what is it ? " she says breaking a bit from the hug to look at me

" what was the thing you and Tom were talking about ? " I say looking at her blue beautiful eyes

She stays silent for a bit , she starts to speak but seems hesitant about what she was going to say " so , when I took Tom out of the room I was talking to him about how you almost killed your self because of him " she stops and looks at me again , I nod my head wanting her to continue. " I said if I see or hear her even a bit sad because you " she stops again taking a breath " I wouldn't allow him to see you again cause he already caused enough damage to you " she says looking at me " he agreed " she says

I stay silent taking all of it in " it's probably for the best " I thought to myself but at the same time I know I'll start to miss him and become miserable.

" I know you will be miserable without him but remember he also made you miserable at some points " Debbie says caressing my hand

" I know but you don't get it .. every time I was around him I felt comforted, loved , protected and you can't control my relationship! " I said a bit angrily

" no Evie you don't get it , I'm trying to help you " she says trying to calm me down

" no you're just controlling my life ! " I say pacing around the room

All of a sudden the front door breaks down , this whole time we were arguing the door was being kicked at and we didn't hear nor knowledge it happening

I walk out of the room and see Tom and immediately run to the bathroom and lock the door , I then start hearing Tom and Debbie arguing and yelling at each other .

I sit down leaning against the bath tub and cover my ears like a kid , I try to think off something happy like me and Debbie hanging together or me and Tom spending time together but none of it helped to get the self harm thoughts out of my mind

I take out my phone and message bill to get here asap no questions.

⚠️self harm from here , skip if needed ⚠️
I then the phone down and look at the cupboard crying they were still arguing but I blocked the sound out and ignored it , I start to get on my knees and open the cupboard looking for a blade , but the arguing stops and they start to knock on the door but I ignore it holding the blade in my hand and roll my sleeve up and put the blade directly above my veins on my wrist and start to slide the blade against it cutting my skin

The door busts down and Debbie and Tom run to me " put the blade down now ! " Evie yelled trying to take it off me as I sobbed as I watched blood run down my wrist from the cut

" I'm a mess , I can't continue living " I sobbed dropping the blade and throwing my head back

" Evie don't say that please .. " Tom said softly holding the wrist I cut

" don't touch me " I sobbed looking at Tom feeling anger towards him

" please Evie , I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that I know , I'm a " he didn't get to finish his sentence as I cut him off

" a asshole , cunt , liar , slag ?! " I sobbed my voice raised

" I am , I know , just please let me take care of you " he said softly holding my hand

" no , get off me . " I yelled cry's streaming down my face as I tried to push him off me but couldn't.

He wrapped his arms around me and held my head against his chest as he held my cut wrist trying to stop the bleeding " I'm so so sorry ev , I need to fix myself and change . " he says his voice slowly breaking as he's on the verge of tears .

I stay silent and continue sobbing as I lay my head against his chest . Debbie gets the first aid box and starts wrapping a bandage around my wrist after cleaning it , she did it all slowly as she tried not to hurt me in any way .

Debbie's pov :

She was so happy the past few days , I thought she had stopped with the Suicidal thoughts but seems like not

" Evie , why do you do this to yourself? " I asked softly after I finished wrapping her wrist " you realise if you don't stop you might need to go to a mental ward , right ? " I say caressing her cheek slightly

It breaks me to see her like this , she's gone through a lot and I don't blame her for being like this , but I do blame Tom he's the main reason why she does this to herself , she loves him too fucking much .

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IM SO SO SORRY FOR NOT WRITING FOR LIKE MONTHS!!! I WAS BUSY DEALING WITH MY MH SINCE I BECAME SUICIDAL. I HAD DELETED WATTPAD SO I KINDA FORGOT ABT THIS WHOOPS 😭😭😱

BUT ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW 😛😛😛 ( April 13th 😍 "

1195 words ❕
- Kamile 💞