Life Without You

17

"Let go of the illusion that it could have been different."

* * *

I turned my phone off right away. Like it would make the message disappear. But when I turned it back on the notification was still there. It wasn't a mystery who it was. I knew it was Aaron but I didn't want to believe it. It didn't want to believe that he couldn't just let it go. That he couldn't just let me go. I had finally started to feel normal again, but then Aaron had to show up and strip all my normalcy away.

    With shaky fingers I opened the text and clicked on the contact.

    Blocked.

    I let out a heavy breath before I pulled myself together and walked down the stairs. Sam was waiting in the car for me just like he said he would be. He smiled at me when I got in and I tried my hardest to smile back but it looked more like a grimace than anything.

    Sam grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Everything is going to be okay." he said, like he knew. Like he had been standing there when I had seen the text. Like he could read my mind.

    I took a deep breath in and out. Sam started to pull out of my driveway. He didn't let go of my hand.

    I was shocked to see how big Sam's house was. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who came from a lot of money. But then again he did offer to buy me a ticket to wherever I wanted and find me a place to stay.

    I followed Sam up the front steps of his house and watched as he took out his key and opened the door. He held it open for me as I walked in. "Sam, honey! Is that you?" a female's voice echoed through the house.

    "Yeah, Mom! It's me!" Sam called back as he kicked off his shoes and I followed his actions, taking my own shoes off. He then started to walk in the direction of the voice, turning his head to make sure I was following. Sam led me to the kitchen. It was a large area with a marble island and bright white cabinets. A woman, probably in her mid-forties, was standing at the island slicing an apple. She had the same brown hair as Sam except it went all the way down to her waist, swaying from side to side.

    "Oh, who's this?" Sam's mom asked, looking up from her apple.

    "This is Sierra." Sam said, putting his hand on the small of my back. I forced a smile in her direction.

    "Oh! It's so nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you. I'm Grace." Sam's mom stuck her hand out across the island toward me. I took it and shook it softly before pulling my hand back to my side. She smiled again as she turned to Sam. "When are your friends getting here?" she asked.

    "Any minute." Sam said.

    "Okay, I'll get out of your way then." Grace pulled a tupperware out of the cabinet behind her, put all her apple slices inside, and put it in the fridge. She then grabbed her purse that had been hanging off one of the stools. She walked over to her son and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

    "When will you be back?" Sam asked.

    "A couple hours. I'm meeting Richard for lunch and then going to run some errands." she answered before turning to me. "It was nice meeting you, Sierra. You're welcome here anytime." I nodded in response.

    Grace reminded her son to be polite before she walked out of the kitchen, Sam and I hearing the front door close a few moments later.

    "Do you need anything? Something to drink?" Sam asked, turning back to me.

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine."

All of a sudden the doorbell rang and Sam walked over to answer it. I followed behind and watched as Sam opened the door and was greeted by three smiling faces. I immediately recognized one of them as Logan from the party at the beach Sam and Abby took me too. He grinned when he saw me. "Hey, Sierra." he said as he stepped inside.

"Hi, Logan." I greeted him back.

"So you're Sierra?" I turned back to the other two people who were standing in the doorway and saw that it was the girl that was talking to me. She was tall with dark skin and hair. Her brown eyes were soft and beautiful and her smile was kind. "Sam won't stop talking about you. I'm Roxanne, by the way."

How many people had Sam told about me?

    "And I'm TJ." The other boy introduced himself and I remembered Logan talking about TJ at the beach party. TJ smiled wide, his teeth shining.

Sam closed the door behind his friends as Logan asked him where Abby was. "Out with that Jeremy kid." Sam shrugged. "She should be back soon."

"She's always with him. Are they dating?" Logan asked as Sam started to lead us to the living room.

"I don't know, ask her." Sam said, rolling his eyes.

Roxanne leaned in toward me and whispered in my ear. "Logan has a huge crush on Abby." I nodded, the conversation suddenly making sense.

"And there's no way Abby isn't just hanging out with Jeremy to get on Logan's nerves." TJ added from behind us a serious expression on his face.

"Look at you knowing all the gossip!" Roxanne smiled at him.

"What can I say, Roxy? People like to tell me things."

"Does that mean you know about the Tyler and Elena thing?" Roxanne asked.

"Is that even a question?" TJ smiled and Roxanne gasped.

Sam turned on the TV and we settled on the couch. I watched as Sam's friends made jokes and laughed with each other as they watched the show Sam had put on. They all seemed really close and it was nice how much they loved each other.

Not even fifteen minutes later Abby arrived, gasping at the sight of me. She pulled me into a tight hug before taking the spot next to me on the couch.

After we finished watching TV the boys decided they wanted to play video games in Sam's room. Sam sent me a look across the room to make sure it was okay with me if he left and I sent him a quick nod.

After the boys left Abby grabbed us some snacks from the kitchen. I placed a chip in my mouth as Roxanne turned to Abby. "So I heard you were with Jeremy earlier." She said and as Abby let out a heavy sight Roxanne sent a quick wink my way. "I'm taking that as it was not a good time."

"He's nice and all but he's so boring." Abby complained. "All he ever talks about is baseball. I don't even know how baseball works!"

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that last part and move on to the more important part of that statement." Roxanne said. "You obviously don't like him so stop hanging out with him. We all know you like Logan anyway."

"I do not."

"Do too."

I had never been around teen girls talking about boys before but it was weirdly nice. It was nice to just forget about everything and pretend the only problem in our lives was whether or not Abby should date Jeremy or Logan.

After an hour of "girl talk" I got up from the couch and turned to Abby. "Can I use your bathroom?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course. It's just down the hall and to the right."

I followed Abby's directions and used the bathroom. When I went to wash my hands I realized that there was no more soap and I looked under the sink for more. I found some but I also found a small orange pill bottle. The color attracted my eyes to it right away and I found myself picking it up.

They were anxiety pills prescribed to Sam's mom. They were from almost a year ago but there were still some in the bottle. I thought about what it would feel like to have a bunch of those in my system. How numb I would feel.

I shook my head. I needed to stop or I would end up like Amber.

My phone vibrated.

Unknown- I'm not going anywhere Sierra. Not until you get what you deserve.

I stuffed Grace's pills under my hoodie.

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