Life Without You

34

"She's the type of flower that can still grow after a forest fire."

* * *

I tried to pull myself together but it was hard because I just couldn't stop crying.

Sam thought I was broken.

I leaned against the counter because I was scared that if I didn't my legs would collapse underneath me.

Sam's words replayed themselves over and over again in my head and as much as they hurt and as much I wanted to hate him for what he'd said, the only person I could hate was myself. I hated that I had ruined our friendship.

I hated that I couldn't just be normal.

I regretted kissing Sam

I heard the sound of the front door opening. Had Sam come back? I pulled myself off the counter and called out his name. "Sam? Is that you?"

There was no response but I knew someone was there. I could hear their heavy steps as they got closer. My heart began to race in my chest. I reached behind me where the knife block sat on the granite, pulling out a long kitchen knife. I held it out in front of me, my knuckles turning white from gripping it so hard.

"Drop the knife, Sierra." I spun, praying my mind was playing tricks on me. Praying Aaron was standing behind me. But when I turned around he stood there with the gun in his hand pointed right at my head.

The knife fell from my hand and I instinctively took a step back, putting my hands up in front of me like it would save me from a bullet.

"Aaron, what are you doing?" My voice shook as I spoke. I had never been so terrified in my life. Which was kind of ironic because just a week ago I was perfectly adamant on ending my own life. But as I looked down the barrel of Aaron's gun I realized how much I wanted to live.

I couldn't change what Aaron had done to me and I couldn't fix what had happened to Amber. But I could still fix things with Sam.

I wasn't ready to let him go.

"We could have been happy, y'know." There was a crazed tone to Aaron's voice. "Amber could still be alive right now, but you had to go and run your mouth."

"How could I have been happy? You raped me, Aaron." I hadn't said that word since I had told Amber what had happened. I had told myself that I would never say that word again. But when I looked at Aaron now, right here in my father's kitchen while he pointed a gun at me I realized Aaron raped me. Not the other way around. He's the one who fucked up. Not me. And maybe if I hadn't told Amber what had happened, maybe she would still be alive today. But maybe not. Amber had already been sick before I told her. She'd been dying on the inside already and the thing that had been killing her was Aaron, not me.

"Don't act like you didn't ask for it." Aaron hissed and for a second I almost let him mess with my mind again. I almost tried to analyze each of our interactions to see if maybe somewhere along the line I might have accidentally led him on but then I reminded myself about what had actually happened that night. How Aaron had held me down while I screamed at him to stop.

"I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask for any of this."

Aaron's face went red with anger. He took three threatening steps toward and I took three backward, my body hitting the wall. Aaron pressed the gun forcefully into my chest and I winced in pain.

"How many people have you told?" He said his hot breath on my neck. It took me a minute to understand what he was asking me and when I took too long to respond he changed tactics.

Raising his empty hand he slapped me across the face and I yelped in surprise. My cheek stung and tears welled up in my eyes. "How many people have you told?" He screamed this time, his voice echoing off the walls.

"I only told Amber, okay?" I said as everything started to make sense. The reason why Aaron had been harassing me for weeks and why he had come here with a gun. He'd been trying to scare me. He'd been trying to keep his control over me so I wouldn't tell on him.

And I had just ruined everything.

I had just shown Aaron that I knew what he did was his fault.

In just a few sentences I had ended my own life.

Aaron might not have walked in here planning on killing me but one look at his face and it was clear he was planning on it now.

"Aaron, wait. We can talk about this, just calm down."

Aaron shook his head. "It's easier this way, Sierra." He pressed the gun even harder into my chest. "If I don't do this, I'm just going to have to continue watching you every day. You'll never get away from me. It's better to just end it now. You'll thank me one day."

I grabbed the barrel of the gun and threw it to the side as I lifted my knee into his groin. I was fast but I wasn't fast enough and I watched as Aaron pulled the trigger. A loud, high pitched scream erupted from my throat as the bullet went through my skin. A hot searing pain spread through my shoulder.

I dropped to my knees at the same time as Aaron. My eyes locked with the gun that had landed in between us and when I looked back up I saw that Aaron was too distracted by his pain to realize what was going on.

With all the energy left in me I leaned forward and grabbed the gun. Now I had Aaron's attention I watched as his eyes widened and I did not hesitate to pull the trigger. The bullet hit him right in the chest and I watched as his body collapsed onto the floor of my fathers kitchen.

I knew I was bleeding a lot. My vision was already starting to become blurry and red. I tried to find my way to my phone but with each movement I made the more pain I felt and my body started to feel weaker by the minute. I had barely made it a few feet before my body collapsed just like Aaron's.

I couldn't keep my eyes open. I tried to but my eyelids felt like a thousand pound weights. A tear spilled down my cheek as I took one finale hurried breath before everything went black. 

Author's Note 

Hi guys! Now that we're nearing the end of the book, I just wanted to say real quick how grateful I am for all of you. I really enjoyed writing this book and I am so happy that so many people love it as much as I do. Thank you for going my book a chance!

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