Tea for Teardrops

Mortality

I told my father I was not ready for him to die
He kissed the top of my head, cupped my cheek, looked me in the eyes, and said
"Someday you will have to be"

I told my mother I was not ready for her to depart
She sighed, took me in her arms, held me tight, and said
"Someday you will have to be"

I told my sister I had no strength to wrestle with my grief
She told me of her own father's death and how she shut herself away for months
"How did you come back?" I asked
She held my hand, wiped away a tear, then cried and said
"I didn't,"

I told my brother how my anger was throwing stones at me
How I wasn't ready to face my own mortality
Even the dead have Chiron to ferry
But I have no one to be my guide in this raging sea
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, smiled, looked ahead, and said
"One day, you will learn to use the stones that are weighing you down and skip them on the water,"

I told God that the barbells He gave me
to give me strength were only weighing me down
How could He place me at the bottom of the ocean and not expect me to drown?
My boat is broken, Lord, it's been ripped to shreds
I cannot thrive where You have put me
I cannot live amongst the dead