With All My Senses

nerves in counting

And sometimes, I get so tired of getting tied up in my thoughts

You're the only one that ever makes it stop*

The door opens, and my gaze falls on Jenna sitting at the kitchen island. As soon as she sees me, she gets up and rushes over, locking me in a tight embrace before I can do anything to stop her. The way she smells, it's like hugging a freaking meadow. The smell is gorgeous but right now irritates my senses that are currently on very sensitive levels. My feelings balancing between numb and hyperactive - I never felt so broken before, as if someone had held me in their hands like a plastic toy, shook me for hours, then just dropped me on the ground, curious which pieces might still stay intact.

I watch as she moves a bit away from me, just so she can stare directly into my eyes. Yet I don't look away. Her face features seem to be working soothingly, just like her sent that has now subsided to a more reasonable range. She runs a hand through my hair, smoothing it out and repeating the action a couple of times. Surprisingly, it makes me think of my mom, a long-forgotten memory but a pleasant one.

How are you feeling?

Her voice is full of concern as she guides me to the couch, settles me down and sits beside me, patting my knee lightly. I stare at her hand for a moment and eventually my gaze lifts.

Better than I was.

Jenna turns her head towards Charlie, who stands next to Robert, the only chill person in the room. Her gaze seems to be searching for an answer to fill in the gap that my short reply has left.

She will be fine, as long as she gets some well-deserved rest. She should have taken her pills, but walking around town at night seemed like a better idea to her.

It was a one-time thing, not my daily routine.

My words fill up with agitation as I'm still treated like a misbehaving child, a normal person wouldn't be scolded just because she had one all-nighter behind her. Ever since the moment I regained consciousness in the hospital, I have been getting all these worried and patronizing stares that seem to only make my mood worse. I hated to feel so helpless.

Let's hope so.

My eyes narrow at him, something in me bobbing up to the surface. It stings me and makes my fingers twitch. I'm about to say something I was definitely going to regret later when I feel Jenna's hand sink deeper into my skin. My head turns and I look at her surprised.

Don't worry about him, he's always been this overprotective. We all had to go through this with him. It's almost amusing how calm and professional he is at work, saving the pretenses for his patients. I have to be honest with you, Elle. We sometimes barely make it out without a headline in a newspaper, referring to some unknown 28-year-old male nurse, having a minor yet quite harmful accident.

She sends him a meaningful glance and watches him throw his arms in the air, exasperated, then walking over to the kitchen and opening the fridge door, pretending to inspect its contents while his back muscles visibly harden. It's the first time I manage to smile genuinely, after leaving the hospital today. I tap lightly on Jenna's hand.

I'm actually a bit hungry.

She stares at me and smiles as well, while I notice Charlie look back, eyebrows lifting slightly.

I will make you something, any particular thing you want?

Just some sandwiches will be great, thanks.