Chapter 10, III

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(I PITY MYSELF, I'M SORRY, I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING)

I pity you, Jenny, you'll see, the angels will welcome you.

"Damn, so much blood! I didn't expect epithelial cells to be so dense, luckily, you passed out."

(I DON'T WANT TO REALIZE)

"For now, you're still alive, so let's not make a tragedy out of it."

If you don't hydrate her, she'll die. But I think she doesn't want to live anymore.

(I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT NOW, I WANT TO REMEMBER THE FIRST KISS WITH JEFF, HOW BEAUTIFUL IT WAS, HOW MUCH I LIKED IT, AND HOW EXCITED I WAS. AND HOW EXCITED HE WAS, HE PROMISED ME THAT IF WE WERE STILL TOGETHER NEXT YEAR, HE WOULD TAKE ME TO DISNEYWORLD)

Ruth, you have about 15, 20 minutes left, then the shock will stop her heart. Don't resuscitate her.

"Damn, so much blood, I can't keep my hand steady"

(I WANT TO THINK ABOUT MY MOM. MOM, I LOVE YOU. DAD, DAD, I KNOW YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME, I FORGIVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, DAD. I WANTED YOU TO BE PROUD OF ME. GRANDMA, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, TO GRANDMA. AT CHRISTMAS, SHE BROUGHT ME THE SAME CHOCOLATES EVERY YEAR, SHAPED LIKE SHELLS WITH WHITE AND DARK CHOCOLATE BLENDED TOGETHER IN SOFT STRIPES OF DIFFERENT FLAVORS. GRANDMA... YOU HUGGED ME WHEN I WAS SICK. YOU HUGGED ME WHEN I WAS HAPPY. YOU ARE MY SAFE HAVEN, MY CONFIDANT, ONLY YOU KNEW I KISSED JEFF. YOU STARTED LAUGHING. I WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE SEA, HOW BEAUTIFUL THE SEA IS, SWIMMING, WEARING THOSE TINY BIKINIS THAT MADE MOM SO ANGRY... ICE CREAM! OH, HOW GOOD ICE CREAM IS, VANILLA FLAVOR, SOFT WHIPPED CREAM. I'M DYING. I WANTED TO EAT ONE MORE ICE CREAM. I WANTED TO GIVE ANOTHER KISS. I WANTED TO MAKE LOVE. I WANTED TO HAVE TWO CHILDREN, A BOY AND A GIRL. I WANTED... I'M DYING)

She's dead.

"Really? Damn, I'm almost done, I wanted her to see me! What a drag, I wanted her to be proud of me!"

It's the shock. There was no remedy. Better this way.

"I did a good job, she's almost completely intact. A torrent of blood, yes, that's true, but maybe it was impossible without it. Maybe I should have used some rags, it will never come out, I'll think about it later. There, I'm done! Oh my God, look at what I've done in the name of your glory! I've granted my wish! Let me clean up a bit, and I'm ready! Are you proud of me? Of course, you are!"

You'll be late; the bell rings in thirty minutes. You have to get ready and hurry... you'll just make it in time to avoid getting a note.

"Okay, you're right. Let me clean up, and I'm ready. I can't wait!"

Now I bid you farewell; you don't need me anymore. Your new life awaits you. Remember that I love you.

"Oh no, please don't leave me, your presence makes me feel good... stay with me!"

I can't.

I can't

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