"What exactly did Fíli mean about you...courting me?"
The oldest prince was washed up and sound asleep beneath a thick quilt that Bilbo had taken from his own rooms, golden hair freshly braided by his uncle while Bilbo made a new poultice for his injured thigh. The hobbit had given Fíli another blend of pain tonic since the last one had upset the prince's stomach, hoping that the broth he'd just fed to the youth would actually stay down this time. Bilbo had already detected the beginnings of an unpleasant fever, Fíli's forehead hot to the touch while his gash was much more inflamed than it'd been during his last check up. But there were no signs of pus or discharge yet, an indicator that Bilbo took with no lack of optimism at this point.
"Exactly what the word means," answered Thorin, his words clipped and aloof. "I had merely assumed that my affections were not returned. But my nephews, as usual, took it upon themselves to interfere in my personal affairs. Although, since they like you, there were no arrows shot into a foot or bum again."
"They shot what?!" gaped Bilbo, his hand stilling on Fíli's wrinkled brow. "In the bum? That seems quite...excessive. Was it Kíli?"
"Of course. Although I'm sure his brother knew about it, too," said the King. One of his fingers flicked at the youth's hair, Kíli snuffling in return before rolling over to his other side. "Neither of them were especially fond of her. And Kíli started taking shots at her after about two weeks. Dís might have encouraged them, too."
"What did she say to make them dislike her so much?" asked Bilbo warily. "It just seems so odd for them to behave like that. Maliciously, I mean. Foolish and ill-mannered, I believe, but shooting actual arrows?"
Thorin lightly fingered a few strands of his nephew's hair. "I had noticed several times that she disliked being too close to Kíli, but I assumed it was because of his rowdy, boisterous behavior. But as Fíli soon overheard when running errands for me, she'd been referring to Kíli as being elf-like in appearance to other dwarves. And then everything just went downhill, as you can probably imagine. Fíli eventually managed to chop off seven of her braids, which is a very grave insult in our society."
"Well, that certainly explains the odd behavior," answered Bilbo. "Why didn't Fíli just chop it all off?"
"Am I sensing some vindictiveness, Master Baggins?"
Bilbo didn't even bother to deny it. "Although I wouldn't personally view it as an insult myself, I do understand the intense...dislike between elves and dwarves. And since such a comparison unquestionably hurt Kíli's feelings, then I'm only sorry that Fíli didn't shave her entire head. It would've served her right, gossiping and insulting a young child like that."
"She was the only person I've courted in my life until now," said Thorin. "And it only lasted a few weeks because of her treatment of my youngest nephew. I've had nothing besides very brief...dalliances since then, especially as the quest drew closer and the preparations for it took over my life."
"When hobbits wish to court someone, we usually engage in respectable activities like dancing, family dining, or going for walks together. And there's the various courting gifts, like exchanging flowers, baked goods, embroidered handkerchiefs, rocking chairs, a new pipe, or..."
"Well, it looks like our races have one mutual gift in common," stated the King, a small smile on his regal face. "Although I'm hoping that the exchange of baked goods has other meanings as well. I might have to fight off the entire Company, otherwise. Very few things entice dwarves more than good, homemade food."
"Of course not," said Bilbo, his cheeks flushing at the thought. "Baking for family and friends is the most common gift of the Shire. Courting foods are only a very tiny part of our traditional exchanges."
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An Unexpected Addition (Thilbo - Bagginshield)
FanfictionAuthor: karategal Summary: All of the dwarves survive the Battle of the Five Armies, but Bilbo must return to the Shire to sort out his old life and make way for a new one in Erebor. Over one year later, Bilbo comes back to the Lonely Mountain with...