An Unexpected Addition (Thilbo - Bagginshield)

Library

"Look at this, Uncle Bilbo. It's a book on stone giants."

"Well, I do believe it is," said the older hobbit. He leaned over to look at the book his nephew was reading, eyes skimming over the faded picture drawings. "They certainly seemed quite a bit larger in person, though."

Frodo pursed his lips. "I wonder what they eat. Stone?"

"I don't know," said Bilbo. He was currently looking through a big pile of books on ancient elvish cartography, none of which Bilbo could read or decipher with a limited knowledge of archaic elven scripts. "Why don't you read some more and find out? I'd be curious to know the answer."

The two hobbits had been in the library for quite a while now, their only company three elderly dwarves at the front who were cataloguing several dozen huge piles of dusty dwarvish tomes. The lone female dwarf, Dhola she'd said her name was, had immediately recognized the pair and ushered them inside. She was a maternal great-aunt of Dori, Nori, and Ori, the last of whom had already told her about the hobbits' arrival and Bilbo's keen interest in ancient texts.

"Why am I not surprised that all of the elvish books are hidden in the back," stated Bilbo with a sardonic smile. "Thorin's head would almost certainly explode if he knew so many pieces of elvish literature were buried within his home."

"It doesn't say what they eat," pouted Frodo.

"Oh, looky here, an old journal about the first elvish kings," crowed Bilbo, fingers dusting off the ancient text. It didn't look like it'd been touched in centuries. "These were supposed to have been lost ages ago."

Frodo had a deep frown on his face. "Don't they have brains?"

"I'm sorely tempted to hoard all of these tomes for the rest of my life," said Bilbo, excitedly flipping through pages upon pages of archaic notes. "Thorin and the dwarves of Erebor can keep their gold. I want these books. Papery gold."

"How do they think?" pondered Frodo. "Stone brain..."

Bilbo was practically cackling as he sifted through the bookshelves. "Oh, what the wood elves wouldn't give for some of these texts. Thorin would probably love to dangle a tome or two in front of Thranduil's face and taunt him with it."

"Uncle Bilbo," said Frodo, "Why are these people wrestling?"

"Oh, and here's another..." Bilbo trailed off and his brow furrowed. "Wrestling? I don't think athletics are in this section."

The older hobbit leaned over to take a closer look and nearly tripped over his own feet when he realized that Frodo was looking at a text on elven sexual positions. How did the dwarves even get a hold of that?!

"Yes, yes, that's wrestling! That's what it is!" stuttered Bilbo, snatching the book out of his nephew's hands. "But this is very poorly drawn wrestling, my boy. Just terrible, terrible renditions of various...positions. I don't even know why this text was ever chosen for storage down here. Just...terrible..."

Bilbo threw the book into a far corner. His arms swung from side to side while he tried to find another, more interesting book for his nephew to read. Something that didn't depict two very flexible elves humping each other in a closet. Honestly, why the dwarves needed or wanted a text like that was beyond him.

"Umm, well, let's see...ah! Here's a nice book on ents!"

His nephew picked it up and started to flip through it. "Walking trees?"

"And talking," said Bilbo, dabbing at the sweat on his forehead. Being a parent to an eight-year-old hobbit was hard work. "And look! Here's a whole section on ents! Very safe for little hobbits and my future heart conditions."