"Are you sure I need all of this?"
The first night of Yule had approached far more quickly than Bilbo had anticipated, creeping right up on him while the rest of the city bustled about and prepared for the khalâk ceremony that would be held on Yule Eve. Unlike hobbits, elves, and humans, who all conducted their marriage ceremonies in a fairly similar manner, the dwarves did not practice weddings or marriage rites in any way that was familiar to Bilbo or the other races of Middle-Earth. Dwarf society held grand ceremonies on the solstices and equinoxes of each year, celebrating the continued prospering of their cities and the new marriages that would be confirmed that night. As Bilbo had learned from Balin, dwarves only married on specific days of the year, such as the solstices and equinoxes, and at specific times of the day, such as twilight or sunrise. Some customs differed from clan to clan, but the celestial restrictions remained constant amongst all dwarves.
"Of course!" chirped Kíli. "We've got to have you looking your finest tonight."
"And since you won't be participating in the actual khalâk tournament, some extra finery is necessary to make you even more alluring to the dwarvish eye," said Dís. Her fingers swiftly braided Bilbo's hair, expertly weaving the short strands into his first marriage braid. "My brother will probably be a sweaty and bruised mess by the end, but my hard work won't be ruined on you, now will it?"
Bilbo shook his head once Dís had clipped the marriage beads into place. "It figures that you dwarves would incorporate fighting and arena combat into your wedding ceremonies."
"I won my khalâk shah-âi," said Dís with a wicked smile. "It's all in good nature, of course, but roughing up some other dwarrows is always quite fun. Víli was knocked out in the third round, though."
"Uncle Thorin's the strongest warrior in tonight's khalâk shah-âi," boasted Fíli. He was holding the box of gems that Bilbo would soon be slathered in. "Kíli and me aren't allowed to perform the actual khalâk with him since we're still considered underage, but the rest of the Company will be there for it."
"War dances, combat tournaments, and giant communal weddings," whispered Bilbo to himself. "I'm really not in the Shire anymore."
"The boys will be sitting with you the whole time," assured Dís as she clicked bejeweled clasps onto his ears. "As a hobbit, you aren't expected to actively participate in anything besides the khalâk maza, or the vowing ceremony, so your nephews will be allowed to stay with you until the very end."
"Hear that, Uncle Bilbo," snickered Kíli, "We're officially your nephews now!"
"Valar help me."
"We've been saying those exact words for decades," said Balin as he entered the Blue Room. "Everything coming along well, my Lady?"
"He's been fussy about the jewels and ceremonial attire, but I've sorted almost everything out now," said Dís, her fingers covered in a blue paint that she then started to spread carefully around Bilbo's eyes and upper cheeks. "Thorin's not being too difficult, is he? The fool kept insisting on wearing that awful kilt-like thing of his to the khalâk shah-âi."
Balin chuckled at this. "It's traditional, my Lady."
"And it's ugly."
"If I remember correctly," drawled Balin, "Your own father and both of your grandfathers wore the same ones at their khalâk. Everyone else will be wearing their family colors as well."
"That doesn't mean they're any less ugly," said Dís with a final sniff. "Víli didn't have to wear one and he looked perfectly fine."
Kíli giggled to himself. "Maybe Longbeards just like a nice breeze around their privates!"

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An Unexpected Addition (Thilbo - Bagginshield)
FanfictionAuthor: karategal Summary: All of the dwarves survive the Battle of the Five Armies, but Bilbo must return to the Shire to sort out his old life and make way for a new one in Erebor. Over one year later, Bilbo comes back to the Lonely Mountain with...