Pre And Post Pandemic Poetry

Empty

Empty.
I'm so fucking empty.
Like a piggy bank without any coins.
Like a cup without any milk.

Concave.
Abysmal.
The hole in my chest is only getting bigger.

How can I stop it?
How can I fill it?
This horrid tear that won't stop bleeding.

Sutures.
Maybe stitching it up will help
It doesn't
It still bleeds
You keep tugging at the seams.

I reach out
No one cares
I take your hand
You leave me there
I sink.
Like dead weight
A pile of rocks
Until I hit the bottom.

The pressure
The heaviness of the water on top of me
It soothes me. Crushes me
Forces my seams together.
I'm withering
I need affection

I need the hydration only your love can bring
Yet you hoard it.
Administer it carefully to a select few.
I'm not part of them
Not good enough for you.

I'm always wrong
I'm selfish
The bad guy
But you knew this.

I warned you.
Warned you of my fears
Of my faults
My loneliness
I warned you of the time I needed to be whole again.

Why agree?
Why say you could handle it when you couldn't?
Why promise me things you never meant.
Why assure me you could make me forget.
You didn't.

You only tore a larger hole.
One that I doubt I can recover from.

I'm so fucking empty.
Like a secret box without a secret.
Like a fish without water.
Drowning.
And no one gives a fuck.

So I'll just lay here.
I'll sink into this pool of sorrow
There's no point in struggling.
I'll only sink faster.

Perhaps it'll be quick
I'll fade out of existence
Quickly and painlessly
Trying is time consuming
Exhausting.
Sleep is easier

At least in my dreams I can feel...partial.

I'm so fucking empty.
Please help me
Help me breathe again.