If I May Be So Bold (A Harry Potter Universe Fanfiction)

An Abbreviated History of Ella and Elise Pt. 2

Summer 2021

Juniper was born a month after Ella turned two. Elise took on motherhood so differently the second time around. She didn't cry nearly so much, for one thing, and she had a confidence about her that was akin to the Elise she was at work.

James was very glad to see this, and yet, he couldn't help but notice that her confidence only seemed to apply when it was Juni she was holding.

Where Ella was concerned, Elise still seemed to get so nervous.

She was getting older now, talking so much more (though James was forever having to ask her to repeat herself so he could have a chance at understanding), expressing her own preferences, developing interests. James found it fascinating just to watch her discover these things about herself.

Every night, after he'd tucked Ella in and Elise had fed Juni and laid her in the bassinet beside their bed, he would tell her all his observations from the day in low voices, all the funny things she'd said and the things she was starting to notice and wonder about.

He had so much to say it took him weeks of doing this to realize that Elise hardly contributed anything to these conversations. One night, feeling rather brazen, he asked her why not, and her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't get to see that stuff," she said. "I'm always having to feed Juni or put her down for a nap or change her. I keep missing it all."

"Let me do some of that," James said, turning towards her. "You're doing it all, but I can help. I helped before."

But this only made Elise cry harder. "You don't understand," she said. "I'm doing the parts I know how to do."

Fall 2021

James tried to be conscious of how much time Elise spent caring for one of the girls over the other over the next few months, especially when she went back to work. The trouble was, there were things only she could do for Juniper. As soon as she got home from work in the evenings, she'd need to sit down and feed Juni. James would try to get Ella to play in the living room, tried to encourage Elise to talk to her, but she got so zoned in to Juni when she breastfed. She couldn't seem to look away from her face.

Sometimes James would take Juni to burp her or change her after, but sometimes she didn't seem to want to tolerate changing hands.

As Juni got a little older and started spending a bit more time awake and playing on the floor, the four of them would sit on the ground together and James would get Ella talking about something or other. Elise would always smile when she listened and sometimes she would talk about the things Ella had said later, which seemed like an improvement, but still James couldn't help but notice that Ella rarely addressed her mum.

It was James she talked to, James she climbed all over and asked to read her story after story after story. It was James she asked to refill her cup at dinner or for a snack (every five minutes).

Elise, of course, wasn't stupid. She noticed this.

James felt sure that if she just started spending a little time with Ella one on one, this would change, but he also felt he had to be very delicate about how he suggested this.

Constructing everyday situations where she would find herself alone with Ella felt like his best bet. So James started to find all sorts of ways to go about this. If Juni needed a diaper change, but he knew Elise would be home in a matter of minutes — he was always home before her — he would wait, only to announce right as she appeared, "Juni, you can't save that up for mummy! What a sad way to welcome her back home!" And then he'd whisk her off to change her, tossing a "be right back" over his shoulder.