If I May Be So Bold (A Harry Potter Universe Fanfiction)

40.

February 2035

JAMES

James knew his suspicions were correct the moment Juni sat down at the Hufflepuff table on Friday morning. They were officially confirmed about five minutes before his first class when a group of sixth year girls came bursting in early and one of them said, "Is Ella really dating Logan Pickering?"

James, trying hard not to show anything on his face, asked, "And what exactly would that have to do with defense against the dark arts again?"

They all turned to each other with these gleeful smiles and turned away giggling.

What was it with teenagers and gossip anyway? Why did they honestly care what anyone else did, who anyone else was dating? These weren't Ella's friends. As far he knew, they'd never spent any significant amount of time with Logan. They weren't even in the same year. And yet, this was only the first of a week's worth of students (and soon after, coworkers) trying to get to the bottom of what was going on.

He was getting very tired of pretending he knew all about it, but didn't want to discuss out of respect for his daughter, but the truth was, though everyone else seemed to know, though he had actually seen the two of them together — only ever just talking, but still — several times now, Ella hadn't actually come and talked to him about it.

After fifteen years of being her confidant, James had to admit he was having a hard time with this development. He thought he understood much better how Elise had felt for so long.

It wasn't until the following Friday, an entire week later, that she showed up in his classroom after afternoon classes were over with this nervous look on her face that made him pretty certain what she was about to say.

It was in that moment that, however he might feel about the situation, James resolved to be cool about it. He didn't like seeing her nervous to say something to him. He didn't want her to feel like she couldn't talk to him.

"Do you have a few minutes?" she asked.

"Of course."

She hesitated. "Can we... go for a walk or something?"

"Sure," he said. "Let me just grab my cloak."

A few minutes later, they stepped out onto the grounds. It was chilly, but most of the snow had gone and the peaky sun helped a bit as long as they didn't walk through the shade too long.

She seemed to be having a hard time deciding just how to begin the conversation. He was stuck between wanting to put her out of her misery and bridge the topic himself and wanting to do as Elise suggested and let her be the one to say it first.

Before he had decided which was the better alternative, though, she spoke. "I think you know already, but I just wanted to tell you myself so you know it's not like... a secret or anything. And it's not really a big deal because it's only been a few days and it's not, like, super serious or anything, but I'm... I'm kind of talking to Logan Pickering."

James had spent so much time in the past week thinking about how to respond to exactly this admission, and still he felt unsure how best to respond now that she'd finally come out with it.

"I think that's great," he said after what he hoped wasn't an uncomfortably long pause. "He's a really nice kid."

Ella had been avoiding looking anywhere but the ground since she'd first asked him if he had a minute, but she looked up at him now. "Really?" she asked. She looked genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," James said. "He's a good student. Polite. Hard worker. I know he's in choir with you. I think he's very nice."

"You're not like... you're not mad?"

"El, why would I be mad? You haven't done anything wrong."

"I don't know." She put her hands in the pockets of her robes. "Just my whole life you've said stuff like I wasn't going to date until I was fifty and... I just thought you wouldn't like it."

"Oh honey," he said. "No. I never meant it like that. It's just... you're my little girl, you know? You've always been my little buddy. And it's hard to see you grow up. It's exciting and it's gratifying and I'm more proud of you and the person you're becoming every day, but it's sad, too. You'll never be the nine year old that used to crawl into my lap to read every night before bed. You'll never be the three year old running around after the gulls on the beach. Me saying stuff like that... it's selfish. I wish I could keep you all for myself, forever. But I'd never be mad at you for something like this, especially not when I know he's a nice kid."

He looked at Ella and was surprised to find there were tears in her eyes.

"Oh," was all she said.

James stopped walking, pulled her into a hug. "I trust you completely," he said, hand on the back of her head. "If something feels like the right thing to you and if it's making you happy, then I'm all for it."

She hugged him back tight. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she said. "I was really nervous."

"You can tell me anything, Ella-Bee," he said, smoothing his hand across her upper back. "Absolutely anything. I'm always on your side."

"Okay," she said quietly, and she started to pull back. James held her by the shoulders and looked at her. It was so strange the way he could look at the fuzzy little curls around her temples and at her hazel eyes, so like his own, and so clearly see both the sweet little girl she had been and the smart, talented, kind, completely beautiful young adult she had grown into.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?"

She took a deep breath. Her eyes drifted away from his, but she kept her chin up. "It does feel like the right thing," she said. "For now at least."

"Then that's perfect. It doesn't have to be forever. You don't need to know that yet."

She nodded.

James brushed a lingering tear off her cheek then turned back to the path, put his arm around her, and they continued on.

They walked a full circle around the lake before returning inside, talking a little about Logan as they went, but mostly about other things. When James kissed her on the cheek and parted ways with her outside the Hufflepuff common room, she looked much more relaxed than when she'd shown up in his classroom. He walked away with the urge to give himself a pat on the back. He had, he thought, handled that very well.

—-

"She told me," he said to Elise as soon as she got home later that evening.

Elise smiled. "I knew she would." She sat beside him on the couch. "You seem pretty calm about it."

He nodded. "I may have just reached a new level in parenting skills," he said. "I think I nailed it."

Elise laughed.

"I'm serious," James said. "I handled that like a pro. I didn't even know I had it in me."

Elise just laughed again and hugged him. "I did," she said. "You've always been the best dad."