If I May Be So Bold (A Harry Potter Universe Fanfiction)

34.

January 2035

JAMES

Elise remained weepy about Gillespie's retirement right up until the day of his retirement party. James had never seen her quite like this, and pointing out how often she had come home complaining about him only made her snap at him. For all Gillespie's flaws, he knew Elise really did have a lot of respect for him.

They had rented out the upper room at the Leaky Cauldron for the party, and James met her there after work. Right away, he could tell she was a little edgy. He put his hand on her low back, kissed her on the cheek, and she murmured a hello, but kept staring at the rest of the room where the other aurors were gathering. Gillespie was already halfway through a beer and had everyone laughing about some story, but Elise had positioned herself on the edge, not really talking to anyone.

James tried to coax her over to where everyone else was, but she shook her head. "Just give me a minute," she said. "I'm trying to pull it together."

So he stood back with her, arm around her waist until she stepped forward of her own accord. She chatted normally at first and James stood nearby giving updates on the school, the girls, the kids of other aurors or their family members he had in class. He asked after students that had graduated and after people's partners and about their recent holidays, all the while keeping an eye on Elise who seemed liable to burst into tears at any moment.

She held it together, though. Or at least, she did until they'd all taken a seat an hour later, a variety of hors d'oeuvres in front of them which James was anxious to sample. She held it together until someone looked at her and proposed that she, as head of department and the one who had worked alongside Gillespie longest, make a toast.

She looked at Gillespie, two seats down from her at the head of the table and James saw her eyes start to go glassy. He wondered if the others had ever seen her this way. He doubted it very much. She still sometimes tried to hide it from him when she cried, even though he had seen her upset many times before.

"I don't even know where to begin," she said in a tight voice. "Steve I've... I've been a mess for weeks. All month. Ever since you said this was happening."

She took a deep breath, looked down at her hands. "This might be longer than a toast," she said. Everyone laughed. She looked back up.

"Steve, I would not be here if it weren't for you. Not just in this position but I mean here at all. I wouldn't be an auror. I was eighteen years old the day I walked into your office for an interview. Eighteen. And at the time I thought I was ready for this job, but looking back... I mean my daughter is fifteen. If you were to tell me that in three years she'd be taking on a job like this, I'd say absolutely not. There's no way. She's too young. But you didn't look at me like a kid that day. You really listened to my answers and took me seriously. I remember feeling that. I remember feeling like you had taken me seriously.

"And then you offered me the job that day. On the spot. You told me you saw something in me. I don't even think I really knew I had it in me yet. I thought I did. I wanted to have it. But I don't think I knew that for certain. I was projecting. And honestly, if you'd told me you saw it, but that I needed a few years to grow up first, I probably would have walked away bitter and never come back, because that's what I was like as a kid. I'd have given up. Thrown myself into something else, some other plan. But you gave me a chance and then when I started, you didn't try to protect me or give me the safe, beginner jobs. You just threw me right out there. Immediately. I mean within a week, you had me undercover. That's actually insane, looking back on it. It really is."

Gillespie laughed at this. "I knew you had it in you."

She managed a small smile, but her lips seemed a little wobbly. "The point is, from the very beginning, you were the one person I could count on to always tell me I was capable. You were a mentor to me and you pushed me and you taught me to trust myself and you were always the first to support me, even when Potter gave me the promotion over you when you were more than twice my age and had about twenty more years of experience."