If I May Be So Bold (A Harry Potter Universe Fanfiction)

45.

March 2035

ELLA

Ella had been unbelievably excited for the Easter holidays, so much so that it was difficult to focus on her school work or anything else. Not only was she excited to sing, she was excited for a whole week where she could spend time with Logan without feeling like a terrible friend, because her friends wouldn't even be there. Since her mum's birthday, she had been trying very hard to balance seeing him one on one, seeing him in a group with his friends and her own, and spending time with Iris and Kyrie without them, but it was difficult to manage it all as gracefully as she wanted to, especially when her head was in a bubble of new-relationship excitement and all she actually wanted to do was spend time with Logan.

As the holidays approached though, she started to get nervous.

Up until now, any one on one time she'd been able to get with Logan had felt stolen, an hour here and there, hard to find a private place.

But this would be different. They had a whole week, and the castle would be relatively empty compared to a normal day. That, and her dad wouldn't be hovering around.

The night before everyone who was headed home was due to leave, Ella sat downstairs with Iris. They had managed to snag the comfy chairs by the fire and neither of them felt much like doing any work. It was about to be a break anyway. There was plenty of time to get back to studying. O.W.L.s were still months away.

Kyrie had gone upstairs to "finish" packing, by which she really meant start packing because she hadn't put a thing in her bag from what Ella had seen.

It was rare anymore that Ella got to spend any time with Iris one on one.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Ella asked.

Iris looked up at her.

"Do you think Kyrie's mad at me?"

"No," Iris said without hesitation. "No, I don't think so. I think she's jealous."

"I know," Ella said softly. "And I don't know what to do about it. I'm trying really hard to still be a good friend, but she makes me feel so guilty any time Logan is around."

"Honestly," said Iris, eyes flicking up to the ceiling. "I think she thought she'd be the one to have a boyfriend first."

"I mean has she said anything to you about it? Like about how she's feeling?"

"It's nothing about you," Iris said. "She feels like something's wrong with her."

"But there isn't," Ella said, sitting up straighter. "Why would she think that?"

"She's just sensitive. Like I said, she's jealous. You've got the nice, cute boyfriend and the choir solos and the best grades and she just feels like she can't measure up to you."

"I didn't even know she wanted a solo," Ella said.

"Oh, I don't think she does," said Iris with a shrug. "It's just the principal of the thing, you know? It's all about you."

"I don't want it to be all about me," Ella said. "That's like my worst nightmare."

Iris laughed.

"Just give her some space over break," Iris said, still smiling. "Talk to her after. She's not mad at you, honestly. She's just struggling a little with her confidence."

Ella knew how that felt. She had been hiding for years until a few months ago.

Ella sank down low into her chair, tucked her knees up and put her hands on the side of her face. She felt like she was thinking hard and yet her mind was blank.