Imagine Type: cute/sad
Warnings: negative self talk, anxiety
Status: Y/n and Chris are together.
Y/n's P.O.V
I flop down on my bed in utter defeat. Chris and the guys are going to a party and they invited me to come along. I was all for it at the beginning of week when they asked, however at the time I wasn't thinking about how many people were going to be there, what I was going to wear... all of it is just now hitting me.
I've tried on at least 12 different outfits but nothing seems to be fitting me right. I hate it. And it's not like they're new outfits that I just bought, they're outfits I already had, and at the time I felt confident wearing. I can't find that confidence now.
I stand up from my bed and look in the mirror at the outfit I have on again. I tug on the shirt and pull up my pants to try and hide the parts of my body I absolutely despise.
I pull off my shirt and take off my pants, throwing back on my extremely oversized sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants. I once again look in the mirror and sigh.
I look into my eyes as tears threaten to escape. I feel my chest become tight and legs becoming weak.
"Ugg!" I groan as I sit down on my bed.
I sit on my bed against the headboard and pull my knees up to my chest. I rest my forehead on my knees while wrapping my arms around them.
I hear the creaking sound on my door opening as someone begins to speak.
"Hey Y/n you ready..." I hear Chris say before stopping mid sentence. "You okay?"
I don't move or speak knowing that if I speak I'll start crying.
"Hey." He says softly, me feeling a dip in the bed in front of me.
I feel Chris place his hand in my head. However I don't move.
"You're sweating." Chris observes. "I take it you went on a indecisive outfit debate?"
Chris is referring to the multiple pairs of pants and shirts that I have spread across my floor.
"Nick and Matt said we're going to be late if we don't leave soon." Chris tells me, knowing that I hate being late to things as well. "Apparently traffic is gonna be a bitch."
"I'm not going." I said, my voice being muffled.
"What? Did you say you're not going?" Chris asked, clearly not being able to hear me. "Hey, look at me."
Chris gently lifts up my head from between my arms and knees.
"What's going on?" His voice softly speaks as he gently moves pieces of hair out of my face.
"It's nothing." I said with a sniffle.
"Bullshit. You hardly ever cry. You sound like you're on the verge of tears." He said before holding my hands. "Talk to me."
I know my eyes are looking at his chain but my mind off in space. Why couldn't I have been blessed with the perfect body? Why do I have to struggle with body positivity?
"It's not important." I tell him getting off my bed, him following in my footsteps and getting up as well.
I take a deep breath before turning back to face him.
"Just... go to the party and have the best time you can have." I said with a smile, trying my hardest to hold back tears.
"I'm not going to have a good time if I don't have my number one by my side." He says, standing in front of me.
I look over at the mirror, my worst enemy. I just stare at myself, my heart shattering knowing that I'm always going to hate the way I look and I'll never be able to be comfortable in my own body.
"Y/n..." I hear as I feel Chris's thumb gently wiping away a tear that escaped the corner of my eye.
I turn my head to face him. He looks at me with pleading eyes and I can't help but want to tell him everything but I can't.
"Please go to the party Chris." I tell him once more not wanting to keep him from having a fun time. "I'll be fine."
"I'm not going unless you are. And you're not fine now. I wanna fix things now. Have I done something to make you not wanna go?" Chris asked me.
"No. Absolutely not." I tell him.
"Then tell me." He says.
"It's just... personal problems." I said, holding myself in a hug.
"Did you start your... you know?" Chris says not being able to say the word period.
I giggle.
"No. I just finished it last week." I smile.
"Is there someone that's going to be there that you have beef with?" He asked.
"Now does that sound like me?" I smile.
"Yeah you're right. You're just as antisocial as Matt." Chris says putting his hands on his hips. "Just tell me already."
Chris starts to whine like a little toddler.
"I hate the guessing game." Chris whines more.
I smile and giggle. Even when I'm feeling at my lowest he never fails to put a smile on my face.
"Who's ass do I have to beat for making my girl cry?" He says placing his hands on my shoulders.
"So you're gonna to kick my ass now?" I smile, trying to joke around with him.
"What?" He looks at me quite confused. "You made yourself cry?"
"Yeah." I said with a crack in my voice, lowering my head.
"Hey. No, no, no. What did you do to make yourself cry?" He asked me raising my face back up.
I feel the tears raising back up in my eyes.
"It's not something, I wanna talk about." I tell him, wiping my tears away.
"Okay. Well I'll go tell Matt and Nick that if they wanna go, they can but I'm not." Chris states. "I'm going to stay here with you."
"Chris..." I go to speak until he stops me.
"You're not gonna change my mind." He says.
"You are a stubborn asshole." I tell him.
"You're damn right I am." He tell me, getting me to smile.
