The Love House

The Love House: Chapter 19

The Love House

Chapter 19

Ellie's POV

The thing that scares me the most in life is being alone I guess. I know what you're thinking.

"Weren't you alone most of your life anyway?"

If you weren't thinking that then you're stupid. Okay that was harsh. But why wouldn't you be thinking that?

The truth is.. All my life I've been alone. When my dad... Disappeared into thin air like the new act in a circus I got used to being alone. With Mom always having to be on business because of her new status as single mom (or missing husband mom.. I mean technically they never divorced) I was at the house/apartment/wherever we were staying...alone. I never really made friends either. And I know it's not my mom's fault. You gotta do what you gotta do right? It's just the point that I was alone. Always.

You can say for most of my life I've lived my biggest fear. (Other than rape. Rape sounds like hell.) Being alone doesn't sound too far away from hell to be honest.

Ever since I moved here to Mississippi, something in me has changed. My whole perspective has changed.

Life isn't that bad after all. There are actually good people that exist in this generation. Even funny ones. Maybe I was never weird in the first place. Maybe I just never had someone to talk to to bring out the unweird side of me. (Not a word but get over it). (Why do I keep using parentheses?) (I'm gonna stop now.)

Here I am. Sitting here at 2:03 in the morning and watching Damen sleep.. On the couch of course. Even though he irritates me beyond belief and even though him just being here scares me, I don't think he will ever understand how much I appreciate him. He gave me a chance, you know? Haven't really gotten a lot of those in life.

Unconsciously, I reach out my hand to touch his cheek. What a creep I am. I take everything back. I am weird. So weird. Alone or not. Why do people even talk to me?

I don't move it either. I sat there awkwardly poking Damen's face. And then I thought about how dumb that is and cautiously and gently grazed my thumb against it. He looked so peaceful.

Yeah that is until his eyes snapped open..

Okay they didn't snap open but the fluttered open. Slowly, sleepily opened. It was considered fast in my book though. Definitely never thought he'd wake up mid-stroke.

"El?" He asked groggily.

Silence..

What do I say? What do I do? God if you're up there please help.

"What..?" He sounds so confused, his voice filled with sleep and a little husky.

I suddenly realized my thumb was still awkwardly sitting there on his cheek. I pull away as if he shocked me.

Curse my weirdness.

"I- I. Uh.."

Can you say embarrassment?

"I....Poo."

Poo. What the heck did I get myself into exactly. Who is up at 2 am anyway?! Not anyone sane. That's who.

"It's alright." He says slightly amused.

I avoid direct eye contact. Looking at the coffee table instead. What a nice looking coffee table. Doesn't look like its in any awkward position at all. Suddenly I'm kind of wishing I was a table.

"Sorry." I say swatting some hair out of my face.

"What are you doing up?" He asks sitting up slightly leaning against the arm of the couch.