We Made It |L.T|

Chapter Six

August 9th

There was a light breeze while I was relaxing on one of the lounge chairs next to the pool. I decided that because it was a pleasant day for early August, I wanted to make the most of it by soaking up the sun. I was holding a pencil in one hand and a sketchbook in the other. I was the only one at home because Louis was in the studio recording a song. I assume he was doing that because he stated he had to go record a song and will be back.

It didn't bother me because he doesn't have to always look after me like I'm a child; I just knew he wouldn't be back at lunchtime like he wanted. I assume he must have been busy with work and other things.

But he has been taking care of me in a similar manner ever since we met. I had the impression that he was carrying the entire weight of this marriage on his shoulders. I therefore make up for all my tears and anxiety attacks by doing his laundry, folding it after washing, preparing dinner, and doing housework. So he wouldn't be upset with me for never doing anything. He often gets worked up over little issues that concern me, and I hate seeing him like that.

I'll do whatever it takes to help him have a break if I can handle the situation without involving him. He will be able to breathe and won't feel as strangled around me. I won't tell him about my past since I'm terrified of what he'll think or say, like be disgusted with me.

I suppose that is why it is best to avoid talking about family and why I was kept in the closet. He hasn't brought up that incident at all. However, I can sense that he is compelled to know every detail of my life.

But it is impossible to return down that darkened tunnel. I'll never be able to finish the first sentence before I start shedding tears. I'll be drawn back into the life I led for an excessively long time. A horrifying place that is a nightmare I can never escape.

I always carry a cloud of shame over my head from things that shouldn't have happened but did. I wish I had used the opportunity to flee. No, I waited too long, and now I'm even more broken. I let out a quiet sigh as thinking turning the pages of my life while gazing up at the brilliant blue sky. Realizing how detrimental and wrong it was. Nobody should ever live their lives that way, but I did.

I can't understand why my parents did that to me. What made them hate me so much to punish me like that.

For some reason, I silently murmured and straightened up to look at the water. Already beginning to think about other things. I forced myself to get up from where I was sitting and moved over to the pool, where I sat down at the edge and let my feet to plunge in to cool down. I lifted my head to the top to feel the breeze on my face while my mind was clouded with thoughts and feelings.

My eyes fluttered awake as I looked up into the sun, which was partially obscured by white fluffy clouds drifting in the clear blue sky as the earth was rotating. I was enjoying the peace and quiet as I moved my legs back and forth in the water. Despite my partial awareness of what was happening, my thoughts were wandering between reality and a nightmare.

Those moments came to an end when I heard an odd noise and realized it wasn't Louis. I quickly stood up, being careful to avoid tripping over my wet feet. I instantly whirled around on my heels to turn and gaze back.

When a stranger came up to me directly. I took a step back, putting some space between us. But I became distracted when I noticed that he was holding a young boy that I recognized. My gaze shifted to the young boy's features, then I realized that this was Freddie, Louis' son. In person, his adorable tiny face was even cuter. His father's unusually shaped nose and equally striking blue eyes. He was an exact replica of his father. I moved a little closer and extended my hand to Freddie. He began to squirm around in the arms of the man.