REQUESTS ARE OPEN- see more on that in the book
Just a collection of things form when I get ideas that don't fit any of my current stories.
May be smut, but if your looking for that i would go somewhere else.
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Okay but how much do i wish to be douma-
Anyway, this is angst, I didn't understand a lot of the details and numbers in the comment so forgive me if I fucked up, It's like 1.30am, i have an exam tomorrow on a subject i've nearly failed like 4 times but who care because wattpad is more important. Enjoy!
Kokushibo hated himself for who he was. he hated that he made his boyfriend cry whenever he fell over, or felt dizzy. even in school, when he would wait patiently for Douma to get back from the cafeteria with his food, but never going in himself. he hated it.
You know what Kokushibo also hated?
Food. hot food, cold food. wet, slimy fruit, dry, horrible grans and the sickeningly filling taste of meat on his tongue. nothing could take away the horrible, disgusting feeling of something so healthy and good for him, sliding down his throat in such a horrible, uncomfortable way, pooling in his stomach, making him feel heavy and overweight and horrible. nothing could ever change that. Not his brother's worrying about their vast weight differences, not his boyfriends weeping and crying and begging for him to seek higher help, not the ignorant school nurse who just gave him sour green apples and told him to eat.
_______
Kokushibo stood in his kitchen, staring at the message from Douma, feeling his knees weaken just reading it.
'I'm sorry. we're over. I can't take it anymore. I feel like every day is going to be your last. Please get help Kokushibo, I cant stand by and let you wither away like this'
Kokushibo sank to the floor, leaning against his kitchen cupboards. he felt dizzy and upset. tears threatened to fall down his face, as re read and re-read the message again and again.
this couldn't be happening. it couldn't be happening.
Its all his fault. He shouldn't have made Douma worry. he should have at least tried to be happy wit him self. he never even tried. and now he made the most important person in his life run away.
Kokushibo felt the tears fall, soaking his pale, gaunt cheeks as he dropped his phone on his lap, breathing erratically and staring into nothingness.
There was something wrong with him. why couldn't he just be like everyone else?
Kokushibo felt himself sliding down until he was laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, tears falling out of the corners of his eyes.
He waited to get his boyfriend back. He would get him back.
He struggled to his feet, leaning against the fridge and managing to fumbled and get the door open, taking out a carton of milk, and taking the closest cereal in the pantry. he poured himself a large bowl and sat at the table, poking around the food with a spoon.
He kept telling himself it was okay. he kept telling himself that any moment, he would feel the urge to devour the bowl of cereal in front of him. but the urge never came.
no matter how hard he wanted to try, to be strong for Douma and win him back.
