Valhalla || A Loki Fanfic

Chapter 11

"Loki! Slow down!" A young Thor calls out, chasing after me.

I turn around, sticking my tongue out, "It's not my fault you're slow," and with that, Thor attempts to run faster to catch up.

The sun is setting through the thick, wooded, trees. A quiet breeze rushes through my hair. I laugh childishly as Thor continues to yell behind me.

It's peaceful here.

At home.

I'm unaware of how far I've strayed from the palace until Thor's shouts become more and more panicked, and frightened.

That's when I hear the growling in the forest. And the red eyes glaring back at me.

The wolf walks through the trees, his eyes looking at me meticulously like a predator to prey.

"T-Thor," I whisper, trying to conjure up a shield that Mother was teaching me to use.

Within an instant, the wolf pounces. It's claws reach towards me as I stand, frozen in fear.

I close my eyes, tears pooling as I shake from terror. This is how I die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.

Then Thor is there.

Clumsily wielding his practice sword and swinging at the wolf. It's simple, nothing but an iron blade.

But it scares the beast away, retreating back into the forest as Thor looks at me. His eyes filled with big brother protectiveness and determination.

"I-I'm so s-sorry," I whisper between sobs as he tosses the sword aside, hugging me tightly. "I-I shouldn't have ran o-off and-"

"Hush brother," he soothes, well, as much as a 600-year-old can, "It's not your fault, we were playing. Do not fear, I will protect you,"

I will protect you.

Watching Thor grieve, tears me apart. I never imagined he would hurt this much.

And perhaps there is a limit to the grieving that the heart can endure. When one adds salt to a tumbler of water, there comes the point where simply no more will be absorbed.

And Thor has reached that limit.

He has broken.

And what hurts the most is that our last goodbye was never said.

"Val?" He asks one day, a couple of hours after being reunited with the rest of Asgard. I'm surprised honestly, I thought Thanos had obliterated them all.

"You're a Valkyrie," he says bluntly.

Val's expression darkens, but she nods, "I should hope so," she comments dryly, masking the pain of her past.

Thor takes a deep breath, "I-I think I'm going insane,"

Val gives him a strange look, setting down the bottle of alcohol she has in her hand, "What?"

"I-It's just after my brother's... death," his voice breaking as he utters the last word. Val doesn't dare glance at me, perched on the windowsill, watching the conversation with interest.

"I-I had to hold open a star for Strombreak-"

"YOU WHAT?"

Damn right, it was idiotic.

"It doesn't matter. Anyway, I was about to die, and I- I saw him, Loki,"

My jaw clenches, and my fingers curl at my sides. I momentarily forget about that bit.

Val narrows her eyes, drunkenly gesturing for him to continue.

"And during the fight with Thanos, Stark's friend mentioned Thanos talking to someone called the 'Experienced Failure.' Do you not remember when Thanos attacked our ship? What he called Loki? A-and when I killed Thanos, h-he said that h-he called out to me. He called out to me as he was raped and tortured. H-he called out to me for help and I ignored him," Thor says, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

My breath hitches in my throat. I turn away from
Val, looking outwards towards the night sky so she cannot see the tears brimming in my eyes.

"A-and since you're a Valkyrie and I was just wondering if..." Thor trails off, looking down sheepishly at the floor, "Never mind, forget that this happened," he says quickly, walking away angrily, pretending he does not hurt.

As I hear the door to his room slam, Val immediately glares at me, "What did you do?" She spits, her voice sounding like venom.

I squeeze my eyes shut, not daring to turn away from the window, "I don't know," I admit begrudgingly, "I just... he was dying," how was I supposed to explain it? That I just shoved his soul back inside his body?

"Well stop it," Val says bluntly, as if it's easy.

I sigh, taking a shaky breath before answering calmly, "It's not that simple. He was dying, his soul detached from his body, there was nothing I could do. At least since I don't have my seiðr,"

"Lackey, you know I can't do anything about that. Besides, you were the one who didn't listen to my warnings," Val comments, tossing her head back as she finishes off her mead.

"But you could have at least told me I wasn't able to cast even small illusions!" I burst out, my rage finally taking the best of me, "At least let me know that I can't hide the-"

The monster I am.

But I can't say that.

She doesn't get it.

Nobody gets it.

Nobody understands.

They know nothing.

So instead I stand up, storming out of the cottage as my vision turns red.

I walk across the empty streets of the small fishing village. 'New Asgard' they call it. Pathetic. I'm sure this has the Allfather tossing in his grave.

The cobblestone streets life silent against my ghostly footsteps. The quiet chirping of crickets with the smell of the sea relaxes me.

Walking down to the boat dock, I sit down on the edge, my feet dangling over the watery abyss.

I close my eyes, feeling the moon and the stares on my face. A breeze that would normally make one cold, but refreshes me.

"I'm sorry, my brother," I whisper, "I'm sorry for hurting you so,"

That's when I hear it.

I hear Thor pray to me in the afterlife.

I'm sorry, my brother. He says, I nearly laugh at the irony.

I'm sorry that I never got to say a final goodbye.

You really are the worst brother.

I just- I want you to know how much I love you. That I enjoyed every single moment together, the good and the bad.

I want you to know that I would give up a thousand tommorows for one yesterday with you.

Let your soul rest in Valhalla, land of eternal peace.

I am sorry, my brother. The sun is shining, but only on myself.