Are you nervous?

Chapter 30 || The end.

Her pov: 

I woke up. The sun shined my face and I got up from the bed. I looked over James who was sleeping like a baby. Yesterday we had a date and we accidentally fell asleep on the beach. It was not in the plan but we woke up 2 hours later and headed home. We got back home at 3 am and now it's currently 7 am, oh damn. That means I only slept 3 hours because I fell asleep at 4 am. Oh well, there's nothing you can do. Today Cami, me, James, Harden, and Ethan are going to the carousels like a big friend group. I decided to get ready early. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I walked over to the mirror to look at my swollen face. I groaned and removed my clothes from my body. I went in the shower and took about 30 minutes of showering. I shampooed my hair, I conditioned it, I shaved my body, I washed my body. I did everything shower. I got out of the shower and put a towel over my body. I brushed my teeth and did my skincare. It was just moisturizer, serum, and sunscreen. I walked into the James room and I saw James scrolling his phone.

,, Why are you not sleeping?'' I asked him smiling, He looked at me and smiled. ,, We have to go today so that's why Besides I'm not tired'' He said standing up shirtless. I smiled knowing he was tired but lying so I won't be worried. 

,, If you say so, Ethan is coming at 11 am'' I said putting on a bra and thongs.  ,, Remember when we first met I broke into your house and took your underwear and the next day I put on your locker so you would be embarrassed'' He asked me looking at me. I remembered that day. Harden helped me that day with a panic attack, I remember how much I hated him for that. ,, I remember, you were an asshole, I wonder how could I forgive you for that'' I said rolling my eyes. I put on a cute flower dress and mini heels. ,, I did that because I wanted you to hate me'' He said. ,, Because I loved you so much that I didn't want to hurt you'' He said again. 

,, From the moment I saw you at the cafe standing'' He didn't stop. ,, I regret not bringing you with me, and making you walk'' He said. ,, I loved you since that day'' He said sighing. I froze. I didn't blink, I just stared at him with shock. 

,, Oh and remember that day when Harden first day came to school, I saw you sitting with him and laughing, I was jealous, I was so jealous I wanted to rip his head, but I knew That, that time I would never make you laugh like that as he did so I didn't disturb you guys'' He said fidgeting with his fingers. 

,, But It didn't stop me from beating him up after I saw him touching you, my blood boiled inside me and I couldn't control it anymore, because...'' He continued. ,, Because I wanted to be that person that touches your warm soft skin and never lets it go'' He said. ,, Because I loved you then and now.'' He said. ,, And I don't think I'll love anyone else after meeting you'' He said. I teared up. He just told me how he felt those days, I never knew, and I wouldn't ever found out if he didn't tell me. 

,, I loved you too since that day I saw your brown dark eyes looking at me, but I pretended to hate you because I thought you hated me.'' I said. ,, But that day when you pranked me with that underwear I hated you so much, that my blood boiled inside me, and wanted to kill you'' I said. ,, But I loved you then, and I'll love you forever'' I said hugging him. I teared up from happiness. He hugged me back smiling. 

,, Okay stop crying, Let's do your makeup for today'' He said breaking our hug. He wiped my tears sat me on his bed and started doing my makeup. ,, Hey you don't know how to do makeup'' I said smiling. ,, Shhhh, just close your eyes'' He said giggling. I was expecting worse, I was ready for dicks on my cheeks, hearts in my eye-

,, Look'' He said giving me a mirror. WHAT the fuck. I look amazing, I don't even know how to do that good! ,, H-how'' I said shocked. ,, Uhh, I learned a month ago from youtube, for you'' He said smirking. Did he learn for me? A month ago. I am dreaming seriously. I have the sweetest and childest two-faced boyfriend I ever imagined I'd have. It was like a real dream I dreamed about 7 years ago. This is the life I wanted, and it's perfect. I'm confident, I have my realest boyfriend, I have my friends, I have my family, I have everything I ever wanted, My old self would be so proud of me looking at me. She would be shocked to see me happy, real happy, and not faking it so people wouldn't worry. I was that person for 7 years and I'm happy I got rid of my dead body. I needed a new life, a fresh life. Where I will be happy, and friendly, forgetting the past, having a boyfriend I never wanted, and many friends. And I didn't do it alone, my mom, my friends, Harden, Cami, Ethan, Cerille, and his mom everyone helped me go through this and erase the memories I had my whole 7 years inside. I am so grateful for what they did to me, I am grateful for myself. I'm happy I didn't die that day when I tried killing myself. My scars healed in my heart. My heart healed. I healed from this fucking fucked up generation. 

Now I wanna be a psychologist, I wanna help others heal too, I want to understand them and listen to their problems, and I should help otherwise one by one life will be gone. And who wants to lose their children when they give birth? I think no parent wants that. Yes, my mom was strict and yelled at my mistakes. But she still loves you so much you can't imagine, she probably cries after yelling at you. She may not say sorry but she is very sorry for yelling. So I hope other people understand that someone in this world loves you truly, and it's your mom, no one else, your mom. You should be proud to have a mom who raised you. Strict mom doesn't mean bad mom, she wants to protect you that all she wants because she loves you. My 15-year-old self wouldn't believe that if I said it now. But I believe now, and it's enough, I'm enough, you're enough, everyone is enough. Everyone is different, and different is good. You wouldn't like living in a world where everything is the same, you'll get bored probably. 

I really wanted to love myself and now I do. I healed inside and outside. I want to heal the world. Because I can at least try. And I love that. 

The question is Are you nervous to try..?

The end.

Hi, peaches! So sorry for not posting over a month and it's so short, but believe I have no time to rest or do something I want. My school is giving so much work you can't imagine. 5 tests every day, ALOT of homework, you can't even do after coming home, because you can't keep up. I don't sleep at night to study or do them. So I'm truly sorry for not posting for almost 2 months. You have the right to be mad at me and everything so go ahead, anyways writing the end I started sobbing because I really liked writing this story to you guys, I'm so grateful for someone loving my book and getting sweet comments. When I started writing my first chapter I thought no one would ever notice, no one would like it, but well now look at me I finished the book with people actually reading it, and I couldn't be more happy peaches. I will miss your comments so much about James and Scarlet. I will miss posting them to TikTok, I will miss your excitement for new chapters. I will miss you guys so much. I love you all so much you can't imagine, you all are perfect for me, every single person. I have one more question. I am thinking of writing a new book named,, Two sides'' would you like to read it? leave a comment and let me know. Also,, My summer job'' is stopped writing until next summer, sorry. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful life peaches!! Giving everyone a kiss who needs it, giving a hug who needs it. 

Bye, peaches...

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