CHAPTER 1

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Negative

Negative

Negative

The pregnancy test kits mocked me by showing the same results that it has been saying for ten good years.

"What does the results say?"My husband looked at me expectantly with those hopeful eyes that each year ever since I married him has been turning into sorrow because of our inability to have children.

I shaked my head to tell him that once again that hopeful expression of his was bound to show disappointment.I threw three of the pregnancy test kits into the rubbish dump glaring at them that maybe in there ,it was going to show a positive sign which was so stupid of me but a desperate person is ready to put his fate into anything.

"I'm sorry."He didn't reply to me and just walked out like previous years.I heard him talking to someone trying to desperately assure the person on the phone but the caller wasn't having any of that and I didn't need rocket science to tell me that it was my mother-in-law who was probably telling her son of how much of a failure I was for not being able to have a child even if just one for Douglas.

"Am going out don't wait up for me."He didn't bother waiting for my answer before walking out probably to get wasted then come home to tell me how much of a failure I was for not giving him a child.

We have seen doctors and they all tell us that nothing is wrong with any of us and that we are fit to have a child but year after year the same disappointment that keeps coming.

"Hello"I answered timidly at the caller,who called my line.I heard her sigh then that when the tears came out like a river,all those pent up sorrow and misery just came out and thankfully my sister just kept mute on the phone just letting me cry all those suffering away.

"How do you feel now?"She asked after seeing that I had finished my sobbing episodes that has been a reoccurring thing for ten years as I got into this marriage and having to face the insults of my mother-in-law and the disappointed face of my husband.

"I feel like shit right now!"She hanged up the phone after my words which showed that she was ditching her acting scenes to come here and check up on me.

I coiled up on the sofa thinking about how pathetic I have become and a burden to my younger sister who has to come,comfort me when I feel depressed.

"Oh honey,come here and no more tears because am here."About thirty minutes or so,she had arrived and used the spare key I gave her to enter the apartment which I lived with my husband.

"Now here,we don't want to look ugly so while not go change and look drop dead pretty then let go on a shopping and eating spree."I wanted to refuse because I wasn't in the mood but I didn't want to diminish her efforts at trying to cheer me up so I nodded and went to change my clothes and tied my shoulder length hair in a messy bun then followed Josephine to her crazy siblings bond spree as she calls it.

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Phoenix

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