You Were Worth it

Chapter 19

"Every time I'm here, you always eat Katsudon," Shinso said while motioning to Midoriya's food.

"I only work one day a week now, so I always want to eat my favorite thing on the menu for lunch," Midoriya replied. "How was your second date with Kami?"

Shinso smiled like a schoolgirl. "It was good." Shinso did the classic dinner and movie for their second date. The best part was neither of them cared about the movie. They sat at the back of the almost empty theater and made out through the movie.

Then, at the end of the night, Shinso dropped him off at home again.

"When's the third date?" Midoriya asked before taking another bite of his food.

"Tonight," Shinso replied. "I have no idea what to do this time, though. I thought about taking him bowling, but I'm not sure if he even likes bowling." Despite having a long relationship with him, he didn't know as much about him as he should have for obvious reasons. Now, he was trying to learn as much about him as he physically could.

"Why don't you guys have a night in," Midoriya offered. "You could play video games, board games, whatever, really. I know those nights probably mean more to him than anything, anyway."

Shinso frowned while pushing his food around his plate. Having Kaminari in his apartment for half an hour was brutal. "I'm scared I'm going fuck up."

"What do you mean?" Midoriya asked.

"I don't want to take things too far too quickly."

Midoriya looked at him in confusion before it dawned on him. "Oh, you're talking about sex."

Shinso looked around quickly, making sure nobody was close enough to hear them.

"Way to just come out and say it." Shinso rolled his eyes, causing Midoriya to laugh.

"Nobody is paying attention to our conversation. And if you're worried about pressuring him, you don't need to. If you're worried about something else, I can't help unless I know what it is." They fell silent as Shinso thought about everything. Kaminari already told him he has a lower sex drive, but it still does exist. He wasn't put off by the thought of having sex with Shinso. In fact, he wanted it. He told Shinso that.

But Shinso was still terrified. He hadn't had much feeling or thought about sex until he saw Kaminari again. He didn't want to give in if it would cause him to go down a spiral of self-destruction.

"What if it reopens doors that I closed?" Shinso murmured. 

Midoriya frowned. "Then you tell him that. And together, you two will decide what to do from there." He emphasized the word 'together,' hoping Shinso would understand that freaking out and running away wouldn't be the answer. "Putting it off and giving yourself more anxiety isn't good, either. Have you talked to your therapist about it?"

Shinso nodded. "He said the same thing. He said if it reopens those doors, I could schedule an emergency appointment with him if it scares me. But he thinks I'm psyching myself out for a problem that may not exist anymore."

"Is that the only reason you don't want to have sex with him? You're scared you'll start something up you thought was done?"

Shinso nodded. "Did Bakugo have this problem?" If he did, he knew who he would talk to next.

Midoriya shook his head. "No. But he's the only one who didn't."

Shinso cocked a brow. "What do you mean?"

"When Momo left rehab, she was terrified to even go down a liquor aisle. I didn't even want to take cold medicine. Sero couldn't step out of his routine for the longest time. He had everything planned down the minute." Bakugo never had the problem everyone else had because he wasn't worried like they were. He trusted himself and his ability to refrain. But Midoriya didn't want to tell him that. It would only make it worse.