candy | betty cooper || DISCONTINUED

the ho zone

"are you excited? nervous," asked kevin keller. betty turned around with a big smile on her face, "both. i haven't seen him all summer."

"which is why nerves are acceptable, but we agreed betty. it's time," kevin said, "you like him, he likes you."

"well, then why, kevin, hasn't he ever said or done anything," betty asked. "because archie's swell," paused kevin. "meh.." said juniper, laying on betty's floor in a bra and shorts, partially sweating.

"but like most millennial straight guys, he needs to be told what he wants. so tell him, finally," explained kevin. "well, we'll see. i mean, it depends," said betty.

"oh, my god," said kevin. juniper raced to her feet and to the window. "what," asked betty. "game-changer," said kevin. "archie got hot," exclaimed juniper. "he's got abs now," said kevin. "six more reasons for you to take that ginger bull by the horns tonight," said juniper.

⚢

"a strip club called the ho zone," said juniper, coming up behind veronica and betty with kevin. "and a tragic gay bar called innuendo," finished kevin.

"friday nights, football games, and then tailgate parties at the mallmart parking lot," said kevin. "saturday night is movie night, regardless of what's playing at the bijou, and you better get there early, because we don't have reserved seating in riverdale, and sunday nights..."paused juniper. "thank god for hbo," said kevin and juniper in unison.

"veronica lodge, kevin keller and juniper jones. veronica's new here. kevin and juniper are..." paused betty. "-...gay, thank god. let's be best friends," said veronica.

"is it true what they say about your dad," asked kevin. "that he's the devil incarnate? i stand by my father. does everyone here know," asked veronica. betty, juniper, and kevin said..nothing. well, their faces said it ALL.

"wonderful. ten minutes in and i'm already the blue jasmine of riverdale high," said veronica. betty gave kevin a 'really?' face. "what," asked kevin. juniper snorted and followed betty and veronica, kevin trailing behind her.

⚢

"oh, and of course there's the back-to-school semiformal dance this weekend," said betty. "oh! there's the hottie we were with last night. the red-headed ansel elgort. is he your boyfriend," asked veronica, not being clear who she's talking to. she got 3 answers at the same time.

"no, he's straight," responded kevin.
"god, no," juniper shudders.
"no, we're just friends," says betty.

"in that case, mind putting in a word," asks veronica, "i've tried every flavor of boy but orange."

"actually, to clarify, betty and archie aren't dating, but they are endgame," said kevin. juniper looked at the ground and rolled her eyes. "you should ask him to the semiformal then," veronica says.

"she should, but i heard it might be getting canceled. because of what happened to jason. they're gonna tell us at the assembly," kevin said.

"who's jason and what happened to him," veronica asked. kevin, juniper, and betty all looked at each other with an 'uh..' expression.