Look, I got a goddamn hangover at the size of Uranus, so how about we skip the whole kit and kabuttle and just get this over with ey?
Cool...
This time around we start this little tale, at the I.M.P head office. With nothing too out of the ordinary, Loona was on her phone, Y/n was reading a book titled "Hellish Gunships: 101." Moxxie and Millie were helping Blitzø, and Blitzø was... blowing up his box T.V? Eh, pent up agression gotta go somewhere I suppose. Yet among the numerous box T.Vs getting blown to hell, one of them played a snazzy new commercial.
That being... This!
Oh how cute, cuddly and wholesome... Someone hand me a shotgun, I need to shoot something!
Blitzø: Eh, this'll do. *Shoots the Box T.V.*
Y/n: *Still reading his book.* Nice shooting boss...
Blitzø: Awwww cheesy, you're making me blush... MOXXIE GET ME ANOTHER ONE!
Moxxie: *Places another Box T.V.* I still think that this is a terrible waste of electronics, sir.
Blitzø: I don't f**king care Mox, now switch channels, I need something to get me in the groove.
Blitzø acted like himself and Moxxie reluctantly followed his commands, so like I said, business as usual. Yet after some channels got switched and another T.V. got blown up. Y/n felt the odd sensation of the ground shaking...
Y/n: *Closing his book.* Hey, you guys feel that?
Blitzø: Oh, sh*t! Is that a hellshake?
Moxxie: *Acting very calm.* That's possible?
Millie: *Tries to "calm" Moxxie.* Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!
Moxxie: *Pratically the embodiment of calm.* I'm not "panicking," because hellquakes don't happen.
Loona: *Panickly shakes Moxxie.* STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!
With no warning and no hesitation whatsoever, Loona proceeded to throw Moxxie straight to the window-wall... Which was the busted through by some mysterious cloaked demon, leaving the little imp buried in some rubble. You know what? I'll still say it, business as usual.
Mysterious demon: Do not be afraid! *Extending all sorts of hickory doo-dahs.*
Blitzø: Pleeeaaaaase tell me we got that wall on that insurance thing?!
Y/n: *Helping Moxxie out of the rubble.* I think we both know the answer to that question.
Millie: *Taking out her battle-axe.* Who are you, and what do you want?!
As the mysterious demon were about to introduce himself, Y/n, who just sat Moxxie down, noticed something familiar from the gadgety hell-creature.
Mysterious demon: I am-
Y/n: Mr.Goopty?
Hearing the name, the mysterious demon turned towards the voice calling to him, only to meet a familiar face, although a bit different from usual.
Mysterious demon: Mr. Deadeye! *Wraps his mechanical arms to hug Y/n.* Oh! How wonderful it is to see you again! Taking good care of my little gift are you?!
Blitzø: Woah, woah, Big f**king WOAH! Cheese-stick, you know this... I wanna say... man-toy?
Y/n: *Still being hugged.* Sort of, yeah. He's the guy who made my gun and... former employer. Mr-
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Helluva Hitman ( Helluva Boss x Male Reader )
FanficSo imagine this. Y/n, a multinational hitman working for numerous agencies, finally finds himself dead and unsurprisingly in hell. Which leaves him with two choices. One. Finally, get that retirement he always expected. Or two. Getting back on the...
